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Overpopulqtion is the most serious environmental problem. To what extend do you agree?

Overpopulqtion is the most serious environmental problem. 2xrAj
The world is facing numerous problems nowadays and the biggest is overpopulation. The overpopulation itself is not damaging. The lifestyle of the society is what causes major environmental problems. In this essay I am going to express my poimt of view about this topic. Firstly, with the increase of the population our resources are reducing. We are using all our natural resources as gas and fuel. At this point we might not have enough resources to fulfill our needs in the future. Moreover, people are misusing what nature has offered us for century. Deforestation is an example. Not to mention the pollution caused by the irresponsibility of numerous people. We take our resources for granted. Littering for example has become do common that it does not bother us anymore. Another point to be mentioned is also the amount of car that are used. More and more people are using personal car in stand of public transportation, which lead to more environmental problems. However, all this could be avoided if we would change our lifestyle. If all of us would think twice before doing something that would damage our planet the world would be a better place. Being responsible for our own action is something that the majority of the people lack. Therefore, is impossible to change the whole world's lifestyle. To conclude I totally agree that overpopulation is the world's biggest problem. The people are the main cause of every single problem that happens, even though some are not done intentionally.
The world is facing numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
nowadays and the biggest is overpopulation. The overpopulation itself is not damaging.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
lifestyle of the society is what causes major environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. In this essay I am going to express my
Possible spelling mistake found.
poimt
of view about this topic.

Firstly
, with the increase of the population our resources are reducing. We are using all our natural resources as gas and fuel. At this point we might not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
resources to fulfill our needs in the future.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are misusing what nature has offered us for century. Deforestation is an example. Not to mention the pollution caused by the irresponsibility of numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. We take our resources for granted. Littering
for example
has become do common that it does not bother us anymore.

Another point to
be mentioned
is
also
the amount of car that are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
. More and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are using personal car in stand of public transportation, which lead to more environmental problems.

However
, all this could
be avoided
if we would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
our lifestyle. If all of us would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
twice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
doing something that would damage our planet the world would be a better place. Being responsible for our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
action is something that the majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lack.
Therefore
, is impossible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the whole world's lifestyle.

To conclude
I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that overpopulation is the world's biggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are the main cause of every single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
that happens,
even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are not done
intentionally
.
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IELTS essay Overpopulqtion is the most serious environmental problem.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
251 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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