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Overpopulation of urban areas has lead to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious ones and suggest sollutions that governments and individuals should find

Overpopulation of urban areas has lead to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious ones and suggest sollutions that governments and individuals should find o1W53
Many countries overcome problems due to the fact that their population is rapidly growing. All these problems caused by overpopulation are serious and both individuals and governments should be interested in finding solutions. Overpopulation can cause a lot of problems. First of all, it leads to overcrowding and poor quality housing. An overpopulated city is much more likely to be polluted due to the higher number of cars and factories. Pollution is a really important problem because it affects people’s health. Another issue related to overpopulation is the rising in crime rate. It is more difficult for the lawmen to keep the situation under control in too crowded areas and this can lead to a higher number of teenagers doing crimes. In terms of solutions, government should be responsible. Firstly, it is vital that the state should provide essential housing and healthcare for all it’s citizens. Furthermore, setting up community projects to foster the community spirit might have a positive impact on the number of crimes. For example youth clubs for teenagers would keep young people occupied and can help their personal development, making them less likely to commit crimes. When it comes to individuals they should act responsibly and help governments put into practice all of their measures. This way people will be encouraged to have more pride in their community. Parents should also take more responsibility and communicate more with their children. They are wiser and should share their life experience with teenagers in order to make them understand how they should behave in society. In conclusion, it is clear that problems caused by overpopulation are very serious and that government and individuals should share collective responsibility in order to tackle them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
countries overcome
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
due to the fact that their population is
rapidly
growing. All these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
caused by overpopulation are serious and both individuals and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should
be interested
in finding solutions.

Overpopulation can cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it leads to overcrowding and poor quality housing. An overpopulated city is much more likely to
be polluted
due to the higher number of cars and factories. Pollution is a
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it affects
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s health. Another issue related to overpopulation is the rising in crime rate. It is more difficult for the lawmen to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the situation under control in too crowded areas and this can lead to a higher number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
doing crimes.

In terms of solutions,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should be responsible.
Firstly
, it is vital that the state should provide essential housing and healthcare for all
Did you mean "its" (possessive pronoun)?
it’s
citizens.
Furthermore
, setting up community projects to foster the community spirit might have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on the number of crimes.
For example
youth clubs for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
occupied and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their personal development, making them less likely to commit crimes.

When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to individuals they should act
responsibly
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
put into practice all of their measures. This way
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
be encouraged
to have more pride in their community. Parents should
also
take more responsibility and communicate more with their children. They are wiser and should share their life experience with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them understand how they should behave in society.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
caused by overpopulation are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
serious and that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and individuals should share collective responsibility in order to tackle them.
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IELTS essay Overpopulation of urban areas has lead to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious ones and suggest sollutions that governments and individuals should find

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
284 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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