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Overpopulation in many major urban centers around the world is a major problem. What are the causes of this? How can this problem be solved?

Overpopulation in many major urban centers around the world is a major problem. What are the causes of this? How can this problem be solved? REXW
Overpopulation has became increasingly popular topic in urban cities. This essay will discuss the two main causes of increasing inhabitants in inner cities including lack of proper education facilities and employment opportunities in rural villages. This essay will also suggest solutions to these problems including establishing education institutions and industries in village and small town. To begin with, No. of people are migrating to down town in search of proper education. There are plenty school and colleges in village; however, there are very few universities which provide better education. Thus, it force aspiring students to migrate to cities in order to purse higher education and get strong certificate of their course, which helps them to find job easily in future. In addition, They also come here for job prospects. For instance, According to the recent survey conducted by Nepal government that almost 85% people are migrating to capital Kathmandu in purpose of finding jobs as they did not get employment of their interest and course that they studied. Moreover, They did not get sufficient wages from their work in their village. Thus, in order to get proper education and to settle in life, people are moving towards cities from village.
Overpopulation has
Use past participle here: "become".
became
increasingly
popular topic in urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. This essay will discuss the two main causes of increasing inhabitants in inner
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
including lack of proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
facilities and employment opportunities in rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
. This essay will
also
suggest solutions to these problems including establishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
institutions and industries in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
town.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, No. of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are migrating to down town in search of proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
school and colleges in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
;
however
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few universities which provide better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Thus
,
It seems that the possessive pronoun "its" fits better in this context. Please verify.
it
force aspiring students to migrate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
in order to purse higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
strong certificate of their course, which
In informal texts, 'to' is not necessary. Do you mean "helps them find"?
helps them to find
job
easily
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.
In addition
, They
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
here for job prospects.
For instance
, According to the recent survey conducted by Nepal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
that almost 85%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are migrating to capital Kathmandu in purpose of finding jobs as they did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
employment of their interest and course that they studied.
Moreover
, They did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sufficient wages from their work in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
.
Thus
, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and to settle in life,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are moving towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
.
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IELTS essay Overpopulation in many major urban centers around the world is a major problem. What are the causes of this? How can this problem be solved?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
200 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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