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Overpopulation in many big cities in the world is a major problem. What problem does it cause? How can these problems be solved?

Overpopulation in many big cities in the world is a major problem. What problem does it cause? How can these problems be solved? 7LW12
Many big cities in the world are faced with insurmountable problems caused by overpopulation such as lacking employment opportunities and high living costs. However, there are several solutions that can help to tackle the mentioned issues. This essay will illustrate the causes as well as giving some resolutions to manipulate it. Firstly, the overly populated metropolitan has led to an incredible increase in problematic issues. Due to the overcrowding in major cities, there is high demand for jobs as people need money for their basic commodities. However, the ample job opportunities are now not enough to provide for a large number of migration people. If the unemployment condition continues in the long term, it will give rise to criminals, thieves or even lead to a high poverty rate. Besides that, a wide range of people in the cities also contributes to a cause of high living cost such as property prices and food. These can result in decreasing living standards as people cannot afford them. Fortunately, there are some solutions that can be taken action to help reduce the populous obstacles. First of all, the government should create more job opportunities for people not only in the major cities but also outside crowded places. In other words, more industrial industries and companies should be located outside the cities to decrease the number of people gather in just one place. In addition, tax benefit and some policies for the impoverished should be actively enforced. Hence, citizens can reduce the economic burden and do not have to concern about living quality. In conclusion, overpopulation is the primary cause of unemployment and high living cost. If the government were able to help, cities would be desirable places to live.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
in the world
are faced
with insurmountable problems caused by overpopulation such as lacking employment opportunities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
costs.
However
, there are several solutions that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to tackle the mentioned issues. This essay will illustrate the causes
as well
as giving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
resolutions to manipulate it.

Firstly
, the
overly
populated metropolitan has led to an incredible increase in problematic issues. Due to the overcrowding in major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, there is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
demand for jobs as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need money for their basic commodities.
However
, the ample job opportunities are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to provide for
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
migration
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. If the unemployment condition continues in the long term, it will give rise to criminals, thieves or even lead to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
poverty rate.
Besides
that, a wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
also
contributes to a cause of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
cost such as property prices and food. These can result in decreasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
standards as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot afford them.

Fortunately
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions that can
be taken
action to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the populous obstacles.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should create more job opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
outside crowded places.
In other words
, more industrial industries and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
should
be located
outside the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
to decrease the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
gather in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one place.
In addition
, tax benefit and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
policies for the impoverished should be
actively
enforced.
Hence
, citizens can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the economic burden and do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
concern about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
quality.

In conclusion
, overpopulation is the primary cause of unemployment and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
cost. If the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
were able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
would be desirable places to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
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IELTS essay Overpopulation in many big cities in the world is a major problem. What problem does it cause? How can these problems be solved?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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