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Over the last few decades, the media has promoted the image of young thin women as being ideal. What problem has this caused? What solution can you suggest to this issue?

We are observing that, media is advertising the young slim women as being ideal from past years.  Media has a greater impact on the society. People easily get influenced by the news and promotions done by them. Film industry is offering major roles based on the looks rather than the talent. Same with sales and advertisements. Many people are falling into this traps and concentrating more on their looks. In order to maintain a perfect body, women are going for medical treatments such as lasers and surgeries. These are quite expensive and damaging their health. In order to look beautiful in short span of time, youth is running behind gyms which ultimately impacting their health condition as well as mental health. We often see people using beauty products which are advertised by their favourite celebrities. Only way to eliminate this wrong image from public is to educate them. Government should strictly impose certain clauses for media in promoting beauty. One should understand that inner beauty is more important than outer looks.
We are observing that, media is advertising the young slim women as being ideal from past years.  Media has a greater impact on the society.
People
easily
get
influenced by the news and promotions done by them. Film industry is offering major roles based on the
looks
rather
than the talent. Same with sales and advertisements.
Many
people
are falling into
this
traps and concentrating more on their
looks
. In order to maintain a perfect body, women are going for medical treatments such as lasers and surgeries. These are quite expensive and damaging their health. In order to
look
beautiful
in short span of time, youth is running behind gyms which
ultimately
impacting their health condition
as well
as mental health. We
often
see
people
using beauty products which
are advertised
by their
favourite
celebrities.

Only
way to eliminate this
wrong
image from public is to educate them.
Government
should
strictly
impose certain clauses for media in promoting beauty. One should understand that inner beauty is more
important
than outer
looks
.
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IELTS essay Over the last few decades, the media has promoted the image of young thin women as being ideal. What problem has this caused? What solution can you suggest to this issue?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
171 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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