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many historical places and museums are visited by tourists and not by local people .why is it so?How can this trend be changed ? give your opinion

Museums and historical places are considered as the knowledge centers of a city. They depict the history, the culture, and the tradition of that area. It can be seen that the local people do not prefer to go to these sites; only the tourists visit them.  To begin with, there are several reasons why local members do not visit the local places of history and museums. First and foremost individuals are busy with their domestic chores and they are happy with their sedentary lifestyles. For example, it should be noted that Delhi boasts of a number of museums and historical monuments; the local people do not visit them because the majority of the population in Delhi is working. They have long working hours and after coming back from work they are left with very little energy. Tourists, on the other hand, are in a city to explore all places of interest, so they will definitely visit museums.  There are many ways to attract native people to museums and historical sites. For example, schools can give their students assignments related to the history, culture, and tradition of their native place. This will encourage most parents to take their children to museums to collect useful information. In addition, local administration can conduct various exhibitions at these places to attract local people. For example, the exhibitions on local handmade products can attract locals.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museums
and historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
are considered
as the knowledge centers of a city. They depict the history, the culture, and the tradition of that area. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not prefer to go to these sites;
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the tourists
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visit
them.  To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are several reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
members do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
of history and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
.
First
and foremost individuals are busy with their domestic
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
chores and
they are happy with their sedentary lifestyles.
For example
, it should
be noted
that Delhi boasts of a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and historical monuments; the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the majority of the population in Delhi is working. They have long working hours and after coming back from work they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
energy. Tourists,
on the other hand
, are in a city to explore all
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places
of interest,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they will definitely
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visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
.  There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways to attract native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and historical sites.
For example
, schools can give their students assignments related to the history, culture, and tradition of their native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
. This will encourage most parents to take their children to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
to collect useful information.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
administration can conduct various exhibitions at these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
to attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, the exhibitions on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
handmade products can attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
.
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IELTS essay many historical places and museums are visited by tourists and not by local people. why is it so? How can this trend be changed? give your opinion

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
229 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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