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The following appeared as part of an article in a Dillton newspaper. "In an effort to bring new jobs to Dillton and stimulate the city's flagging economy, Dillton's city council voted last year to lower the city's corporate tax rate by

The following appeared as part of an article in a Dillton newspaper. " In an effort to bring new jobs to Dillton and stimulate the city's flagging economy, Dillton's city council voted last year to lower the city's corporate tax rate by GM3mj
The notion that new factories mentioned are staffed with exotic workers is cogent at first glance. This is because Dillton's tax rate has declined into 15-percent and also provides generous relocation grants. It would attract more factories and create working chances. At the same time, the new factory has employed 1000 people. Nonetheless, the argument is filled up with logical mistakes and assumptions. And these defections cause other possible explanations. The details would be discussed below. To begin with, the arguer assumes that the lower tax rate and relocation grants would effectively bring new factories. It is hard to deny the possibility that these friendly policy is less competitive with concerning some near regions' advantage. Other cities may have extraordinary traffic, low cost of employing workers and convenience for importing prime material. In this case, the friendly policy above is less possible to attract new factory which would bring more work opportunities. Hence, the argument above still needs more persuasive evidence to preclude this explanation. Moreover, the arguer fails to prove the fairness of the unemployment rate. It is universally acknowledged that the method of carrying research could influence conclusion significantly. For instance, the government may let citizens who are walking on the street to fill their forms in a specific period when the majority of workers are working. In this condition, it is reasonable to draw the conclusion mentioned in the argument because the individuals who could walk on the street in working time have a high possibility of being unemployed. Therefore, the arguer should prove the validity of the conclusion above. Finally, even though explanations above are precluded, the arguer still works worse with proving that new factories do not employ local people. It is equally possible that another big company has collapsed for business competition. And a lot of people lose their job for that. At the same time, the similar amount of residents are employed by new factories. In this condition, the unemployment rate may also unchanged. To sum up, the argument is less cogent than seem for the lack of more information assistance. It is essential to glean more evidence to make the argument more persuasive and exclude other explanations.
The notion that
new
factories
mentioned
are staffed
with exotic workers is cogent at
first
glance. This is
because
Dillton
's tax
rate
has declined into 15-percent and
also
provides generous relocation grants. It would attract more
factories
and create working chances. At the same time, the
new
factory
has employed 1000
people
. Nonetheless, the
argument
is filled
up with logical mistakes and assumptions. And these defections cause other possible explanations. The
details
would
be discussed
below.

To
begin
with, the arguer assumes that the lower tax
rate
and relocation grants would
effectively
bring
new
factories
. It is
hard
to deny the possibility that these friendly policy is less competitive with concerning
some
near regions' advantage. Other cities may have extraordinary traffic, low cost of employing workers and convenience for importing prime material.
In this case
, the friendly policy above is less possible to attract
new
factory
which would bring more work opportunities.
Hence
, the
argument
above
still
needs more persuasive evidence to preclude this explanation.

Moreover
, the arguer fails to prove the fairness of the unemployment
rate
. It is
universally
acknowledged that the method of carrying research could influence conclusion
significantly
.
For instance
, the
government
may
let
citizens who are walking on the street to fill their forms in a specific period when the majority of workers are working. In this condition, it is reasonable to draw the conclusion mentioned in the
argument
because
the individuals who could walk on the street in working time have a high possibility of
being unemployed
.
Therefore
, the arguer should prove the validity of the conclusion above.

Finally
,
even though
explanations above
are precluded
, the arguer
still
works worse with proving that
new
factories
do not employ local
people
. It is
equally
possible that another
big
company
has collapsed for business competition. And
a lot of
people
lose their job for that. At the same time, the similar amount of residents
are
employed by
new
factories
. In this condition, the unemployment
rate
may
also
unchanged.

To sum up, the
argument
is less cogent than seem for the lack of more information assistance. It is essential to glean more evidence to
make
the
argument
more persuasive and exclude other explanations.
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IELTS essay The following appeared as part of an article in a Dillton newspaper. " In an effort to bring new jobs to Dillton and stimulate the city's flagging economy, Dillton's city council voted last year to lower the city's corporate tax rate by

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
365 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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