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Our Galaxy, The Milky Way

Our Galaxy, The Milky Way MBmL6
Have you ever looked up at the night sky and noticed a band of stars that have a whitish “cloud” around them? If you have, you were looking at a portion of our own galaxy, the Milky Way. It is called “milky” because of this whitish cloud that the stars live in. This cloud is actually light that the stars give off. People who lived many centuries ago didn’t know what they were seeing when they looked at the Milky Way in the sky. Some thought it was a bridge, some thought it was a river, and others thought it was a pathway for spirits of the dead. Today, the Milky Way is much less mysterious. We know more about our galaxy now than ever before. Scientists and astronomers continue to study it and learn more about it. What is a galaxy? It is a system of millions to hundreds of billions of stars. Our galaxy, the Milky Way, contains about one trillion, or 1, 000, 000, 000, 000, stars. It is hard to imagine a “trillion” stars, isn’t it? There are hundreds of billions of galaxies in the universe. How does a galaxy relate to the universe? A galaxy is part of the universe. The universe includes all galaxies. When you look at the Milky Way at night, the stars you can see are the brightest stars. Some people use a telescope to see more stars, or the stars that are not as bright. It is easiest to see the Milky Way if you live in the country. That is because the light from cities can make it harder to see the light from the stars in a dark sky. The Milky Way has a pancake shape, and the Earth is located somewhere near the center of this “pancake”. When you look at the Milky Way at night, you are seeing just a portion of the galaxy. This portion appears in a different place in the sky depending on the time of year. It is higher in the sky during the summer and winter. But during the spring and fall, it is lower, and closer to the horizon.
Have you ever looked up at the night sky and noticed a band of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stars
that have a whitish “cloud” around them? If you have, you were looking at a portion of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
galaxy, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Milky
Way. It
is called
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“milky”
because of this
whitish cloud that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stars
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in. This cloud is actually light that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stars
give off.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
centuries ago didn’t know what they were seeing when they looked at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Milky
Way in the sky.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
it was a bridge,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
it was a river,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
it was a pathway for spirits of the dead.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Milky
Way is much less mysterious. We know more about our galaxy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. Scientists and astronomers continue to study it and learn more about it.

What is a galaxy? It is a system of millions to hundreds of billions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stars
. Our galaxy, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Milky
Way, contains about one trillion, or 1, 000, 000, 000, 000,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stars
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to imagine a “trillion”
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stars
, isn’t it?

There are hundreds of billions of galaxies in the universe. How does a galaxy relate to the universe? A galaxy is part of the universe. The universe includes all galaxies.

When you look at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Milky
Way at night, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stars
you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
are the brightest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stars
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a telescope to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stars
, or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stars
that are not as bright. It is easiest to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Milky
Way if you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the country.
That is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the light from cities can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it harder to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the light from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stars
in a dark sky.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Milky
Way has a pancake shape, and the Earth
is located
somewhere near the center of this “pancake”. When you look at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Milky
Way at night, you are seeing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a portion of the galaxy. This portion appears in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
place in the sky depending on the time of year. It is higher in the sky during the summer and winter.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
during the spring and fall, it is lower, and closer to the horizon.
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IELTS essay Our Galaxy, The Milky Way

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
359 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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