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Others think that governments must invest this money in public services instead. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Others think that governments must invest this money in public services instead. Discuss both views and give your own opinion 7336y
Governmental funding to support arts has evolved into a major topic of concern in modern society. While some believe there are real benefits to this policy, others would prefer to support community services. Both viewpoints are worth considering and will be analyzed in this following essay. On the one hand, it is undeniable that the government should invest in arts due to their crucial role in our lives. Firstly, many people consider art a means of entertainment. It seems that they could relax and chill after a pressured week by going to the theatre and watching various types of plays. Secondly, arts are truly an essential part of cultures and symbolizes national identity. In fact, it is apparent that not only foreigners but also Vietnamese people are able to perceive their own customs by the arts. For instance, the painting called “The wedding of mice”, which is one of the most well-known Dong Ho artworks, reflects Vietnamese wedding customs. On the other hand, it is true that it had better recapitalize public services. The first reason is that upgrading these services will improve the quality of all residents’ lives. In fact, if the government of my country could upgrade public transportation, the traffic congestion would gradually decrease. As a consequence, people might not have to waste so much time commuting and also have better health owing to fewer emissions from vehicles. Furthermore, it will be the poor in our society that will be affected more if the government does not spend enough on public services because they are more dependent on such services. Although both statements have their own merits, I am with the perspective that the government should prioritize financing public services. It is obvious that while arts predominantly bring cultural values, these services are more pragmatic. For example, comparing masterpieces, progressive power supplies have more positive influence on people’s lives, especially the poor. In other words, there is no doubt that investing in either the arts or community services develops the country. While arts bring the preservation of national identity, public services bring the improvement of life quality. However, I do believe that it is more beneficial to put money into advancing public services such as infrastructure, healthcare and environmental services.
Governmental funding to support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
has evolved into a major topic of concern in modern society. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe there are real benefits to this policy, others would prefer to support community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
. Both viewpoints are worth considering and will
be analyzed
in this following essay.

On the one hand, it is undeniable that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should invest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
due to their crucial role in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
a means of entertainment. It seems that they could relax and chill after a pressured week by going to the
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
and watching various types of plays.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
are
truly
an essential part of cultures and symbolizes national identity. In fact, it is apparent that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
foreigners
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
Vietnamese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to perceive their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
customs by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
.
For instance
, the painting called “The wedding of mice”, which is one of the most well-known Dong Ho artworks, reflects Vietnamese wedding customs.

On the other hand
, it is true that it had better recapitalize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
. The
first
reason is that upgrading these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of all residents’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. In fact, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
of my country could upgrade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportation, the traffic congestion would
gradually
decrease. As a consequence,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
waste
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much time commuting and
also
have better health owing to fewer emissions from vehicles.
Furthermore
, it will be the poor in our society that will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
more if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
does not spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are more dependent on such services.

Although both statements have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
merits, I am with the perspective that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should prioritize financing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
. It is obvious that while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
predominantly
bring cultural values, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
are more pragmatic.
For example
, comparing masterpieces, progressive power supplies have more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
influence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
especially
the poor.

In other words
, there is no doubt that investing in either the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
or community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
develops the country. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
bring the preservation of national identity,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
bring the improvement of life quality.
However
, I do believe that it is more beneficial to put money into advancing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
such as infrastructure, healthcare and environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
.
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IELTS essay Others think that governments must invest this money in public services instead. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
373 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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