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Other professions has high salary package but ordinarily do not what you think

Other professions has high salary package but ordinarily do not what you think m8lp1
It is irrefutable that doctors, lawyers and engineers are paid much higher than ordinary workers. In the following paragraphs, I shall discuss this issue at length and also suggest some other occupations, which deserve higher salaries. To begin with, professions, such as medical, engineering and law, require far more years of study than what ordinary workers have to do. For example, for a basic M. B: B. S degree, more than 5 years of study is required, and after that to specialize in any specific field another three to five years are required. A person with a simple M. B: B. S degree does not earn all that high. Similar is the case with engineering and law professions. They have to undergo many years of struggle and training to finally reach their telephone-figure salaries. Secondly, it requires a lot of financial input to attain these degrees. Many students have to take loans to study, which they have to repay later on. They may remain in debt for many years while they pay off their student loans. Therefore, their higher salaries are justified. Ordinary workers, on the other hand, do not have to spend huge amounts on their college and university fees. What is more, some of these professions are round- the-clock professions very challenging physically as well as emotionally. Finally, it would not be wrong to say that not all such professionals are highly paid. Many of them keep struggling throughout their lives. There are many other jobs, which merit higher salaries. I believe that teachers and nurses are doing commendable jobs for the society. They should be paid lucrative salaries so that people want to join these occupations. Then, there are people working in our defense services such as the army, navy and air force. Because of them, we are leading secure lives. That is why they deserve higher pay-packages. Furthermore, people working in high -isk professions such as fire-fighters and security guards should be paid more and finally people in administrative posts such as IAS and IPS officers should have higher salaries. To sum up, there is no doubt that doctors, lawyers are receiving high salaries, but they rightly deserve them and many other professions are there which need to be paid more.
It is irrefutable that doctors, lawyers and engineers are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
much higher than ordinary

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
workers
. In the following paragraphs, I shall discuss this issue at length and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
also


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suggest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
occupations, which deserve higher salaries.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professions
, such as medical, engineering and law, require far more

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
years
of study than what ordinary workers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do.
For example
, for a basic M. B: B.
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S


degree, more than 5 years of study
is required
, and after that to specialize in any

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
specific
field another three to five years
are required
. A person with a simple M. B: B.
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S


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
degree
does not earn all that high. Similar is the case with engineering and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
law


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professions
. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
undergo
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years of struggle and training to
finally
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
reach


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
their
telephone-figure salaries.

Secondly
, it requires
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
financial input to attain these degrees.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
students
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
have


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
take loans to study, which they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
repay later on. They may remain in debt
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
for


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
many
years while they pay off their student loans.
Therefore
, their higher salaries are

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justified
. Ordinary workers, on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend huge amounts
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on


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
their
college and university fees.
What is more
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professions
are round-

the-clock
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
challenging
physically
as well
as
emotionally
.
Finally
, it would

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not
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
to say that not all such professionals are
highly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of them
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keep


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
struggling
throughout their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
jobs, which merit higher salaries. I believe that teachers
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
and


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
nurses
are doing commendable jobs for the society. They should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
lucrative


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
salaries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
these occupations. Then, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
working

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
our defense services such as the army, navy and air force.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of them, we
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
are


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
leading
secure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
That is
why they deserve higher pay-packages.
Furthermore
,

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
working in high
Possible spelling mistake found.
-isk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professions
such as fire-fighters and security guards should

be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
more and
finally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in administrative posts such as IAS and IPS officers

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
should
have higher salaries.

To sum up, there is no doubt that doctors, lawyers are receiving high salaries,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
rightly
deserve them and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professions
are there which need to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
more.
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IELTS essay Other professions has high salary package but ordinarily do not what you think

Essay
  American English
27 paragraphs
375 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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