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Doctors recommend regular exercise to older people however many people do not take enough exercise.what are reasons and how they will encourage

Doctors recommend regular exercise to older people however many people do not take enough exercise. what are reasons and how they will encourage DqWJ6
In this modern era, many grey hair people are suffering from detrimental diseases because of environmental problems. Doctors deem that it would be beneficial for elder people if they do exercise on the daily basis. There are many causes of this trend which i mentioned in the above paragraphs. The major reason that why senior citizens avoid to take regular exercise is, they are not physically fit. To elaborate, when people getting older they would lose the ability to do every work with full energy. Because they have not much strength present in their body in elder age. Therefore, older people usually avoid to do exercise. Moreover, older people also may have fear of injury. To make it more clear, the bones of body are not strong as much as they in younger age. Sometimes people do that type of exercises that are not fit for their body so they get injury because they have no much strength present in their body in elder age. However, there are some remedies to overcome this problem. The first and foremost solution of this problem is, family will encourage the senior citizens to do exercise. In other words, it's the responsibility of their young adults to make them aware about the benefits of the regular exercise. Because their young children are more knowledge about the advantages of exercises. Secondly, by providing personal trainer to elder people is also good remedy to tackle this problem. To illustrate, nowadays adults are hectic schedule, they have not much time to spend with their family. Thus, if the personal is hired for grey hair people it would be more beneficial for them. Because personal trainer would help them to do exercise and they also guide elder people that which exercise is good for them. Agglomerating all the views it can be conspecious although there are many reasons why senior citizens do not do daily exercise, these problems may solve by using solutions like awareness and personal training.
In this modern era,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake. 'grey' is British English.
grey
hair
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are suffering from detrimental diseases
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. Doctors deem that it would be beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
if they do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
on the daily basis. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
causes of this trend which
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
mentioned in the above paragraphs.

The major reason that why senior citizens
The verb 'avoid' is used with the gerund form: "avoid taking".
avoid to take
regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
is, they are not
physically
fit. To elaborate, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
getting older they would lose the ability to do every work with full energy.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
they have not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
strength present in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elder
age.
Therefore
, older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
The verb 'avoid' is used with the gerund form: "avoid doing".
avoid to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
.
Moreover
, older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
may have fear of injury. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
, the bones of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
are not strong as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
as they in younger age.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do that type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
that are not fit for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
injury
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
strength present in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elder
age.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
remedies to overcome this problem.

The
first
and foremost solution of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is, family will encourage the senior citizens to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
.
In other words
, it's the responsibility of their young adults to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them aware about the benefits of the regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
their young children are more knowledge about the advantages of exercises.

Secondly
, by providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
trainer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
remedy to tackle this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. To illustrate, nowadays adults are hectic schedule, they have not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
time to spend with their family.
Thus
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
is hired
for
Possible spelling mistake. 'grey' is British English.
grey
hair
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
it would be more beneficial for them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
trainer would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to do
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
exercise and
they
also
guide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for them.

Agglomerating all the views it can be
Possible spelling mistake found.
conspecious
although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why senior citizens do not do daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
may solve by using solutions like awareness and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
training.

IELTS essay Doctors recommend regular exercise to older people however many people do not take enough exercise. what are reasons and how they will encourage

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
330 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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