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Other people often say life was better in the past then it is now do you think it is right or wrong give your reasons and relevent examples

Other people often say life was better in the past then it is now do you think it is right or wrong give your reasons and relevent examples YWG5
Nodoubt, the paramount impact of modern world cover one's whole life in easier way. But, other old masses often stand with their view that, their life was better in the past than life of younger's now. In my point of view, it would be wise to enough say that, positive life of past was better than living standards of today's new generation. On the one side, in previous life, most of the people near about 80%to 90% were lived in joined families and they showed more love, caring, sharing, even respectful attitude to their families even took more responsibilities in positive way. Interestingly, they loved to spend their whole life with emotional attachment way. On the other hand, today, the living process has changed by folks due to impact of assortment and gadgets. As, they give more preference to money rather than relations. Furthermore, they want to spend their life in nuclear families because, they do not want to take any responsibilities of families and others. Secondly, stress of more work and having less time management make more burden on their health as a results, they live in isolate world rather than spending time with family as well as they give more importance to entertainment sorts for instance: -watching movies in theatre, night out parities so on. However, the survey conducted by tribune newspaper depict that, previous life was created optimum world because, individuals faced less problems of diseases and environment was cleaned because of, less pollution was in the past as compared today. To summarize, in my point of view, living standards in the past had great because, they thought that, they were engaged with relationship than money but nowadays, society accept that, money is more valuable part and first need than human, s love
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nodoubt
, the paramount impact of modern world cover one's whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in easier way.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
masses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
stand with their view that, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
was better in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of younger's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. In my point of view, it would be wise to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
say that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
was better than living standards of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's new generation. On the one side, in previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
near about 80%to 90% were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
families and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, caring, sharing, even respectful attitude to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
even took more responsibilities in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
way.
Interestingly
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
to spend their whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with emotional attachment way.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, the living process has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
by folks due to impact of assortment and gadgets.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
, they give more preference to money
rather
than relations.
Furthermore
, they want to spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, they do not want to take any responsibilities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
of more work and having less time management
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more burden on their health as
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a result" or simply "results"?
a results
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in isolate world
rather
than spending time with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
as well
as they give more importance to entertainment sorts
for instance
: -watching movies in
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
, night out parities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
However
, the survey conducted by tribune newspaper depict that, previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
was created
optimum world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, individuals faced
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun problems is countable.
less
problems of diseases and environment
was cleaned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of, less pollution was in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
as compared
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
To summarize
, in my point of view, living standards in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
had great
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that, they
were engaged
with relationship than money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
nowadays, society accept that, money is more valuable part and
first
need than human, s
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
love
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IELTS essay Other people often say life was better in the past then it is now do you think it is right or wrong give your reasons and relevent examples

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
295 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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