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organising a large family celebration such as a wedding can often create problem

organising a large family celebration such as a wedding can often create problem aqe1m
Usually, organising big family events contains both happiness and problems. Nowadays, when technology are increasing, we can easily see and solve the problems Firstly, the generation gap between youngsters and the elders. For example, in a wedding, both families attend the party, and sometimes something bad can happen due to the fact that the two families have different cultures, ages, . . We can solve this problem by let everyone gather before the wedding party, let they share and understand the other's life in order to avoid some unfortunate situations Secondly, big parties or events can affect the other people around you, for example, your neighbor. Big family and big events are the same with many people: everyone is talking, playing, dancing, eating; kids can create a lot of noise… My solution for this problem is family can go to the restaurant for the party, book a private room, and then there will no affection to the others people work In conclusion, i believe that more than the problems in the big ceremonies, it is the way we solve it, and let the party become a unforgettable moments in your life
Usually
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'organising' is British English.
organising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
contains both happiness and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. Nowadays, when technology are increasing, we can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
and solve the problems

Firstly
, the generation gap between youngsters and the elders.
For example
, in a wedding, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
attend the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
something
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
can happen due to the fact that the two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures, ages
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
We can solve this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
everyone gather
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the wedding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
they share and understand the other's life in order to avoid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unfortunate
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
situations


Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
can affect the other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around you,
for example
, your neighbor.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
are the same with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
: everyone is talking, playing, dancing, eating; kids can create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
noise… My solution for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
can go to the restaurant for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
, book a private room, and then there will no affection to the others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
work


In conclusion
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe that more than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
ceremonies, it is the way we solve it, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
become
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
unforgettable
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "moment"?
moments
in your life
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IELTS essay organising a large family celebration such as a wedding can often create problem

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
190 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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