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Ordinary people try to copy famous personalities by seeing them on TV or reading about them in the newspapers. What is the reason for this? Is it a good idea to copy famous personalities? Give reasons for your answers along with relevant examples from your e v.6

Ordinary people try to copy famous personalities by seeing them on TV or reading about them in the newspapers. What is the reason for this? Is it a good idea to copy famous personalities? 6
In this modern era, it is often seen that common people who are fans of popular celebrities try to copy them when they watch these famous persons on TV or when they read newspaper articles about them. To start with, there are several reasons for the increased craze among people to follow the celebrities. One reason is that people who call themselves fans of celebrities, such as actors or sports stars, also have the desire to be famous in the society. For example, a person who wears a shirt like his idol actor, Shahrukh Khan, thinks that he would gain more attention among his friends by wearing so. Other than this, there are some people who feel that if they follow their role models, they would also be able to achieve the luxurious lifestyle and huge success in their lives in terms of endless wealth, expensive cars and other such possessions. . Though the trend of copying others is very common, it is really not an admirable thing. It is due to the fact that one can actually gain more happiness with one’s own style rather than copying someone by wearing similar clothes or possessing similar luxurious items which can only bring temporary happiness. Moreover, it has been found that one can live more comfortably and confidently in one’s own way. For instance, a woman wearing high heel in her office, by copying a TV actress, would find it cumbersome to rush for catching a bus or train. On the whole, it is true that many people try to imitate their favoriate TV actors, which is not right. They should rather try to follow only good things from others such as principles and values.
In this modern era, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are fans of popular celebrities try to copy them when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
persons on TV or when they read newspaper articles about them.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, there are several reasons for the increased craze among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to follow the celebrities. One reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
call themselves fans of celebrities, such as actors or sports stars,
also
have the desire to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
in the society.
For example
, a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
wears a shirt like his idol actor,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Shahrukh
Khan,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that he would gain more attention among his friends by wearing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
than this, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
feel that if they follow their role models, they would
also
be able to achieve the luxurious lifestyle and huge success in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in terms of endless wealth, expensive cars and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
such possessions.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.


Though the trend of copying others is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common, it is
really
not an admirable thing. It is due to the fact that one can actually gain more happiness with one’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
style
rather
than copying someone by wearing similar clothes or possessing similar luxurious items which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
bring temporary happiness.
Moreover
, it has
been found
that one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
more
comfortably
and
confidently
in one’s
Please check whether an article is missing: "a own".
own
way.
For instance
, a woman wearing high heel in her office, by copying a TV actress, would find it cumbersome to rush for catching a bus or train.

On the whole
, it is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try to imitate their
Possible spelling mistake found.
favoriate
TV actors, which is not right. They should
rather
try to follow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
things from others such as principles and values.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Ordinary people try to copy famous personalities by seeing them on TV or reading about them in the newspapers. What is the reason for this? Is it a good idea to copy famous personalities? 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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