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Ordinary people copy famous people whom they see on TV and magazines. Do you think it is a positive development?

Ordinary people copy famous people whom they see on TV and magazines. Do you think it is a positive development? mbJB1
TV and magazines play an important role in our daily life. These are meant to provide information and entertainment their viewers with their vast reach nowadays they have evolved into our daily life style and ordinary people generally tend to follow famous people and celebrities being shown through this media. I believe this is largely a negative developmint The major negative aspect of this development is that people are attracted by and follow the glamorous side of these people, which is portrayed more. As a result ordinary people follow famous personalities based on their looks only and not based on the work they do, success they have achieved or their contribution to society. For example, if their favourite celeb has & pack abs, they also try to achieve such a body, and to do so quickly, they have to consume a lot of unhealthy supplements, which may not be good for them. Some girls even stop eating altogether to get the size zero figure of their role model. What they fall to realise is that these celebs spend hours in the gym everyday to get that sort of figure Another negative effect of this development is that if these celebs drink or smoke in public, the common people think it is a sort of status symbol and do the same. They also want to achieve the comfortable lifestyle and costly cars and other such possessions without doing the hard work required to achieve such status. As a result, petty crime incidences are often seen. On the positive side, these celebs sometimes mctivate people to do good things and not let any setbacks in their life lead them to go into depression. The encouragement pveil by celebrated people can help them to overcome such situation to achieve success and help others also, For example, a famous Indian celeb Deepika Padukone told people how she fought with her depression in a youtube Interview. Many people were really motivated by it and learnt ways to come out of their depression. To sum up, it is true that people tend to copy famous people who are glamourized by the media. I firmly believe that it is a more negative than a positive development. People should not follow these celebs blindly. They should be realistic and follow only the good things of these celebs.
TV and magazines play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in our daily life. These
are meant
to provide information and entertainment their viewers with their vast reach nowadays they have evolved into our daily life style and ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
generally
tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and celebrities
being shown
through
Did you mean "these"?
this
media. I believe this is
largely
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
Possible spelling mistake found.
developmint


The major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
aspect of this development is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are attracted
by and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
the glamorous side of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, which
is portrayed
more.
As a result
ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
personalities based on their looks
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
and not based on the work they do, success they have achieved or their contribution to society.
For example
, if their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celeb
has & pack abs, they
also
try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
such a body, and to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
quickly
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
consume
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
unhealthy supplements, which may not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
girls even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
eating altogether to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the size zero figure of their role model. What they fall to
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
is that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebs
spend hours in the gym
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
that sort of figure

Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
effect of this development is that if these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebs
drink or smoke in public, the common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people


This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is a sort of status symbol and do the same. They
also
want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
the comfortable lifestyle and costly

cars and other such possessions without doing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work required to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
such status.
As a result
, petty

crime incidences are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
.

On the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
Possible spelling mistake found.
mctivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
things and not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
any setbacks in their life lead them to go into depression. The encouragement
Possible spelling mistake found.
pveil
by celebrated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to overcome such situation to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
success and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
others
also
,
For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
Indian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celeb
Possible spelling mistake found.
Deepika
Possible spelling mistake found.
Padukone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
how she fought with her depression in a
Possible spelling mistake found.
youtube
Interview.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were
really
motivated by it and
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out of their depression.

To sum up, it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to copy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
Possible spelling mistake found.
glamourized
by the media. I
firmly
believe that it is a more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
than a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebs
blindly
. They should be realistic and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
things of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebs
.
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IELTS essay Ordinary people copy famous people whom they see on TV and magazines. Do you think it is a positive development?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
389 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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