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Opinions diverge on the necessity of funding cultural activities. While some claim it is an unnecessary investment, others believe both citizens and cultures would benefit if governments were to provide financial support for art and culture. I will discuss both views and state my own opinion in this essay. On the one hand, many people oppose investing in cultural activities because there are more serious issues to address. The deterioration of transport infrastructure in many cities, for example, is the major reason for the increased number of traffic accidents. Using money for the construction of new roads and highways would bring about immediate effects and save thousands of lives. In addition, nations across the globe are facing many environmental problems that require urgent attention, namely pollution and natural resource depletion. National leaders, therefore, should join forces with scientists to combat these issues by allocating financial resources to the development of renewab

Opinions diverge on the necessity of funding cultural activities. While some claim it is an unnecessary investment, others believe both citizens and cultures would benefit if governments were to provide financial support for art and culture. I will On the one hand, many people oppose investing in cultural activities because there are more serious issues to address. The deterioration of transport infrastructure in many cities, for example, is the major reason for the increased number of traffic accidents. Using money for the construction of new roads and highways would bring about immediate effects and save thousands of lives. In addition, nations across the globe are facing many environmental problems that require urgent attention, namely pollution and natural resource depletion. National leaders, therefore, should join forces with scientists to combat these issues by allocating financial resources to the development of renewab RgrP
Opinions diverge on the necessity of funding cultural activities. While some claim it is an unnecessary investment, others believe both citizens and cultures would benefit if governments were to provide financial support for art and culture. I will discuss both views and state my own opinion in this essay. On the one hand, many people oppose investing in cultural activities because there are more serious issues to address. The deterioration of transport infrastructure in many cities, for example, is the major reason for the increased number of traffic accidents. Using money for the construction of new roads and highways would bring about immediate effects and save thousands of lives. In addition, nations across the globe are facing many environmental problems that require urgent attention, namely pollution and natural resource depletion. National leaders, therefore, should join forces with scientists to combat these issues by allocating financial resources to the development of renewable and environmentally friendly sources of energy. There is no point in spending money on cultural activities before ensuring a safe and clean environment for citizens. Advocates of art and culture, on the other hand, argue that cultural activities play an important role in people’s lives. Cultural events, like Tet holiday or Christmas, are occasions when family members gather together, which helps to strengthen the sense of family and community and further enriches people’s lives. Moreover, funding these activities helps to preserve cultural diversity, especially in such a globalised world where so much culture is being lost and forgotten. The Vietnamese government, for instance, has constructed many museums that solely exhibit examples of ethnic minority culture, whose populations are decreasing at an alarming rate. In conclusion, I believe that cultural activities are of great significance and require attention and financial support from governments. However, it is also the government’s duty to address issues in transportation and the environment to protect citizens’ lives and maintain a healthy environment for people to live.
Opinions diverge on the necessity of funding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
claim it is an unnecessary investment, others believe both citizens and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
would benefit if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
were to provide financial support for art and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. I will discuss both views and state my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion in this essay.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
oppose investing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are more serious issues to address. The deterioration of transport infrastructure in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cities,
for example
, is the major reason for the increased number of traffic accidents. Using money for the construction of new roads and highways would bring about immediate
The word 'effects' contains a ligature (joined letters). Modern English does not usually use ligatures. A ligature in a word causes a spelling error. If the word is an English word, write it with standard characters.
effects
and save thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
In addition
, nations across the globe are facing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
environmental problems that require urgent attention,
namely
pollution and natural resource depletion. National leaders,
therefore
, should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
forces with scientists to combat these issues by allocating financial resources to the development of renewable and
environmentally
friendly sources of energy. There is no point in spending money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
ensuring a safe and clean environment for citizens.

Advocates of art and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
,
on the other hand
, argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cultural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
, like Tet holiday or Christmas, are occasions when family members gather together, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to strengthen the sense of family and community and
further
enriches
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
Moreover
, funding these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to preserve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
diversity,
especially
in such a
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalised' is British English.
globalised
world where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
is
being lost
and forgotten. The Vietnamese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
,
for instance
, has constructed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
museums that
solely
exhibit examples of ethnic minority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, whose populations are decreasing at an alarming rate.

In conclusion
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are of great significance and require attention and financial support from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
.
However
, it is
also
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
duty to address issues in transportation and the environment to protect citizens’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
and maintain a healthy environment for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
.
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IELTS essay Opinions diverge on the necessity of funding cultural activities. While some claim it is an unnecessary investment, others believe both citizens and cultures would benefit if governments were to provide financial support for art and culture. I will On the one hand, many people oppose investing in cultural activities because there are more serious issues to address. The deterioration of transport infrastructure in many cities, for example, is the major reason for the increased number of traffic accidents. Using money for the construction of new roads and highways would bring about immediate effects and save thousands of lives. In addition, nations across the globe are facing many environmental problems that require urgent attention, namely pollution and natural resource depletion. National leaders, therefore, should join forces with scientists to combat these issues by allocating financial resources to the development of renewab

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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