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Opinions are divided whether what goals are of paramount importance to a nation.

Opinions are divided whether what goals are of paramount importance to a nation. Ap9Nl
Opinions are divided whether what goals are of paramount importance to a nation. While numerous people reckon that the economic progress is deemed the most vital achievement, others argue that national’s goals are not limited to only the economic prosperity. From my personal perspective, while the economy is crucial for the development of the country, however, this is not the primary goal but the contentment of the citizens also constitute to the nation’s thrive. On the one hand, a handful of individuals contends that the economic advancement is important for a country for a combination of reasons. In the first place, it is undeniable that the economic affluence results in a better life for citizens in terms of materials life. A nation with a developed economy can enhance the quality for its individuals so that they are no longer need to struggle to make both ends meet. In other words, economic progress brings huge merits to ameliorate many aspects of the country such as infrastructure as well as trading. For example, the Vietnamese used to live under destitute conditions in the 20th century, especially during the Vietnam War and the post-war time. However, the devotion to improve the economic progress has dramatically brought the superior life for the people of our country. On the other hand, there are numerous goals that are vital in addition to the economic development. Firstly, juniors’ intellectual development is even more principle since this development contributes to the sustainable development of the country. In Japan, for instance, education is invariably placed on the top of priority. This can be attributed that the prosperity in terms of economy can be obtained in the short-term time, however, the intellectual development consumes much more effort as well as time to bear fruit. Furthermore, in Bhutan, a country in Asia, not the economy but the contentment of citizens is what the authority prioritize. In this nation, the social level that a person belongs is not crucial than how satisfied he feels daily. In conclusion, although many people believe that governments should devote effort to push the economic progress, however, other categories of progress namely education as well as welfare are also necessary. In my opinion, the importance of economic progress should not eclipse other achievements.
Opinions
are divided
whether what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
are of paramount importance to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. While numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
reckon that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
is deemed
the most vital achievement, others argue that national’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
are not limited to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
prosperity. From my personal perspective, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
is crucial for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
however
, this is not the primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the contentment of the citizens
also
constitute to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation’s
thrive.

On the one hand, a handful of individuals contends that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
advancement is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for a combination of reasons. In the
first
place, it is undeniable that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
affluence results in a better life for citizens in terms of materials life. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
with a developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
can enhance the quality for its individuals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they are no longer need to struggle to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
both ends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
brings huge merits to ameliorate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
such as infrastructure
as well
as trading.
For example
, the Vietnamese
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
under destitute conditions in the 20th century,
especially
during the Vietnam War and the post-war time.
However
, the devotion to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
has
dramatically
brought the superior life for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of our country.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
that are vital
in addition
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
.
Firstly
, juniors’ intellectual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
is even more principle since this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
contributes to the sustainable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. In Japan,
for instance
, education is
invariably
placed on the top of priority. This can
be attributed
that the prosperity in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
can
be obtained
in the short-term time,
however
, the intellectual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
consumes much more effort
as well
as time to bear fruit.
Furthermore
, in Bhutan, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in Asia, not the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the contentment of citizens is what the authority
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "prioritizes".
prioritize
. In this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
, the social level that a person belongs is not
Use "(crucial)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
crucial
than how satisfied he feels daily.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should devote effort to push the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
,
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
categories of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
namely
education
as well
as welfare are
also
necessary.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
my opinion, the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
should not eclipse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
achievements.
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IELTS essay Opinions are divided whether what goals are of paramount importance to a nation.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
376 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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