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An increasing number of people are choosing plastic surgery. Why do people choose to change the way they look? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

An increasing number of people are choosing plastic surgery. Why do people choose to change the way they look? Do you think it is a positive or negative development? Vrqow
Surgical ways of changing one’s appearance have become widespread in the modern world as there is an uprising number of individuals who want to have a better look. While such a surgery helps to solve born imperfections, I do believe that this trend has a negative impact on society in the sense that some people abuse plastic surgery and even might harm themselves. To begin with, the main reason for the growing popularity of plastic surgeries is a desire to look prettier and be appreciated by others. These days, a significant group/percentage/proportion of people are convincing themselves that surgery is the only option to look like their idols or be good-looking according to social standards of beauty. For example, in South Korea, a huge number of youth are going under plastic surgeries, namely an eyelid correction or rhinoplasty at an early age. They even work overtime to save enough money for such procedures just to look like their highly appreciated idols. Personally, I am of the opinion that the tendency of numerous beauty surgeries may be helpful with correction of physiological issues, however, individuals mostly overuse this method and even face more health problems in the future. What I mean is that plastic surgery does help people with born imperfections, such as a cleft lip or cleft palate, to improve their appearances. Nevertheless, people are mostly abusing plastic surgeries by doing liposuction, rhinoplasty or breast augmentation without even a consultation with their doctor. As a result, a plethora of stories about victims of plastic surgeries can be observed in a newsfeed. For instance, a legendary singer and musician Michael Jackson was one of these victims when he was suffering from negative consequences from multiple nose surgeries. To conclude, various plastic surgeries are becoming in a higher demand nowadays. People are likely to go under such operations to look and feel better in their appearances. Such changes may be the main reason for improving born imperfections, nonetheless, I may argue that today people mostly overuse these procedures, thereby facing severe health issues.
Surgical ways of changing one’s appearance have become widespread in the modern world as there is an uprising number of individuals who want to have a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
. While such a surgery
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to solve born imperfections, I do believe that this trend has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on society in the sense that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
abuse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
surgery and even might harm themselves.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the main reason for the growing popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
surgeries is a desire to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
prettier and
be appreciated
by others. These days, a significant group/percentage/proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are convincing themselves that surgery is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
option to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
like their idols or be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
-looking according to social standards of beauty.
For example
, in South Korea, a huge number of youth are going under
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
surgeries,
namely
an eyelid correction or rhinoplasty at an early age. They even work overtime to save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money for such procedures
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
like their
highly
appreciated idols.

Personally
, I am of the opinion that the tendency of numerous beauty surgeries may be helpful with correction of physiological issues,
however
, individuals
mostly
overuse this method and even face more health problems in the future. What I mean is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
surgery does
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with born imperfections, such as a cleft lip or cleft palate, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their appearances.
Nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
mostly
abusing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
surgeries by doing liposuction, rhinoplasty or breast augmentation without even a consultation with their doctor.
As a result
, a plethora of stories about victims of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
surgeries can
be observed
in a newsfeed.
For instance
, a legendary singer and musician Michael Jackson was one of these victims when he was suffering from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
The usual preposition to use after "consequences" is not "from". Did you mean "consequences of", "consequences for", or "consequences on"?
consequences from
multiple nose surgeries.

To conclude
, various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
surgeries are becoming in a higher demand nowadays.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are likely to go under such operations to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
and feel better in their appearances. Such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
may be the main reason for improving born imperfections, nonetheless, I may argue that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
mostly
overuse these procedures, thereby facing severe health issues.
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IELTS essay An increasing number of people are choosing plastic surgery. Why do people choose to change the way they look? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
341 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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