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opinion about exclusion or inclusion of physical activity class

opinion about exclusion or inclusion of physical activity class j9V7L
Physical education and sports are considered a cornerstone for better health; however, nowadays there are number of voices calling for exclusion of physical education classes from the curriculum for all school-age children. In the essay this debatable issue is discussed from both points of views. The Inclusion of physical education classes in the school ensures enormous benefits for the students. Needless to say, physical activity has a lot of health outcomes. Besides, researchers have found that those toddlers who are training since early ages, show better academic performance than those who are not. Also, the compliance for activities is better when sports are trained as early as possible. Thus, sports are not only considered with health benefits, but also with great mental outcomes. Also, practicing sports allows the child to explore alternative aspects of life including morals and choices. On the other hand, the exclusion of PE classes as defended by some, and it’s justified by the fact that school children are overwhelmed by other subjects, and they need to organize their time. Also, physical training is the responsibility of the family rather than the school. Some might consider that physical activity classes are merely waste of time and pupils should spend more time on academic activities. In my opinion, I think sports activities are extremely important and should always remain as a mainstay in children’s school activities. Those who practice sports when they are young, usually preserve this habit in their adulthood. The balance between sports and academic studies is very crucial for building up the characters of kids.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Physical
education and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are considered
a cornerstone for better health;
however
, nowadays there are number of voices calling for exclusion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
from the curriculum for all school-age children. In the essay this debatable issue
is discussed
from both points of views.

The Inclusion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
ensures enormous benefits for the students. Needless to say,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
health outcomes.
Besides
, researchers have found that those toddlers who are training since early ages,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
better academic performance than those who are not.
Also
, the compliance for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
is better when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are trained
as early as possible.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
considered with health benefits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
with great mental outcomes.
Also
, practicing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
the child to explore alternative aspects of life including morals and choices.

On the other hand
, the exclusion of PE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
as defended by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
, and it’s justified by the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
children
are overwhelmed
by other subjects, and they need to organize their time.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
training is the responsibility of the family
rather
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
might consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
are
merely
waste of time and pupils should spend more time on academic activities.

In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and should always remain as a mainstay in children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. Those who practice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
when they are young,
usually
preserve this habit in their adulthood. The balance between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and academic studies is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial for building up the characters of kids.
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IELTS essay opinion about exclusion or inclusion of physical activity class

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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