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Open plan office no walls, no barriers. DO the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Open plan office no walls, no barriers. DO the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? PX62B
The era is getting changed day by day even we can observe environment is not same as before. Companies are developing with time. Therefore, in this modern time he offices' structures from inside have been well-developed due to removing barriers and implemented open plan office no walls. There are couple of merits and demerits are as under. Without a shadow of a doubt, I deeply prefer that there should not be walls obstacles inside offices. First and foremost, owing to this regarding employees who are working. They are not supposed to have negotiation gap and exchanging the documents extremely in a easy way. To illustrate, in the well-known organizations such as "Noon" which is E-commerce firm has big workstations specially in Riyadh. It has no separated rooms for workers. Completely open area for working. Huge benefit, they have mutual understanding. Well communication. Consequently, less energy and time-saving in order to give or receive files, fax and so on. As far as cons are concerned, free and rough atmosphere sometimes become panic. Because it is well-defined that people forget firm's hierarchy system due to freely inside workplace territory. For instance, it is supremely authentic example which i have seen in my life that in my office there is no cabinet and all staff is at one place so because of close understanding and no distance among employees some of them started disputing while discussing politics. During this period they began to hit to each other. Result came that one was badly injured and shifted to hospital. Regarding conclusion, my thoroughly preference to have open office instead isolated chambers. So that they could enhance their proficiency, expertise and propose better outcome in minimum time.
The era is getting
changed
day by day even we can observe environment is not same as
before
.
Companies
are developing with time.
Therefore
, in this modern time
he offices
' structures from inside have been well-developed due to removing barriers and implemented
open plan
office
no walls. There are
couple of
merits and demerits are as under.

Without a shadow of a doubt, I
deeply
prefer that there should not be walls obstacles inside
offices
.
First
and foremost, owing to this regarding employees who are working. They are not supposed to have negotiation gap and exchanging the documents
extremely
in a easy way
. To illustrate, in the well-known organizations such as
"
Noon
"
which is E-commerce firm has
big
workstations
specially
in Riyadh. It has no separated rooms for workers. Completely open area for working. Huge benefit, they have mutual understanding. Well communication.
Consequently
, less energy and time-saving in order to give or receive files, fax and
so
on.

As far as cons
are concerned
, free and rough atmosphere
sometimes
become panic.
Because
it is well-defined that
people
forget firm's hierarchy system due to
freely
inside workplace territory.
For instance
, it is
supremely
authentic example which
i
have
seen
in my life that in my
office
there is no cabinet and all staff is at one place
so
because
of close understanding and no distance among employees
some
of them
started
disputing while discussing politics. During this period they began to hit to each other. Result came that one was
badly
injured and shifted to hospital.

Regarding conclusion, my
thoroughly
preference to have open
office
instead
isolated chambers.
So
that they could enhance their proficiency, expertise and propose better outcome in minimum time.
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IELTS essay Open plan office no walls, no barriers. DO the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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