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Although cars damage the environment, their manufacture and use continue to increase. Why is this the case? How can this increase be controlled?

Although cars damage the environment, their manufacture and use continue to increase. Why is this the case? How can this increase be controlled? NW1gj
It I true that cars can cause to damage the atmosphere but cars are manufacturing and using continue to develop. There could be several reasons why this is the case, and I believe that governments should control this problem. There are various reasons why cars should cause many destruction the climate. Firstly, the weather which are breathing the people or animals be soiled car's fuel. Secondly, If cars increase at each city, cities are crowded and the situation should cause a plenty of problems. For example, If crowded happened in a city, many people ought to late their work or study. Finally, nowadays almost each person own his private cars because the kind of cars were manufacturing by governments. In my view, authority can solve the problem while they must control the situation. I think that If governments should increase the number of public transport, people do not go to the work or study at their private cars. Additionally, I believe that when governments increase to cost fuel, many people stop to use their private cars. For this reason If authority do not control this situation, this circumstances effect to strong the atmosphere. For instance, climate would change while particular spices animals or birds might to lose. In conclusion, I believe that governments should control this circumstances. This country can cause some trouble which you must to speak a unfamiliar name bus station and then. If you go to a company for work they may not accept you because you don't understand the language.
It I true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
to damage the atmosphere
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are manufacturing and using continue to develop. There could be several reasons why this is the case, and I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
this problem.

There are various reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
Possible agreement error. The noun destruction seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much destruction", "a good deal of destruction".
many destruction
the climate.
Firstly
, the weather which are breathing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
or animals
be soiled
car's fuel.
Secondly
, If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
increase at each city, cities
are crowded
and the situation should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of problems.
For example
, If crowded happened in a city,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
ought to late their work or study.
Finally
, nowadays almost each person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
his private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
were manufacturing by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
.

In my view, authority can solve the problem while they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
the situation. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should increase the number of public transport,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not go to the work or study at their private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
.
Additionally
, I believe that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
increase to cost fuel,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
.
For this reason
If authority do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
this situation, this circumstances effect to strong the atmosphere.
For instance
, climate would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
while particular spices animals or birds might to lose.

In conclusion
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
this circumstances.

This country can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
trouble which you
After 'must', the verb is used without 'to'. Probably, you should use "must" or "have to" here.
must to
speak
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
unfamiliar name bus station and then. If you go to a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
for work they may not accept you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you don't understand the language.
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IELTS essay Although cars damage the environment, their manufacture and use continue to increase. Why is this the case? How can this increase be controlled?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
254 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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