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online shops to close offline stores

online shops to close offline stores NM2Yj
It is seen that online stores have tremendously increased and have attributed the fact of closing the shops in the cities. I strongly agree with the rise in online websites and the impact creating on offline sales. In this essay, we will discuss the factors contributing for the reduction in the store purchases. Firstly, online shopping is a boom to everyone, as it saves a lot of time and money. One individual does not need to drive to the store and select their apparel where we can find it within our finger tips, furthermore, we can compare the prices on each shopping app choosing a best affordable price for the product. It becomes a hassle when comes to offline, looking for stores and comparing prices consumes more time and energy. For a good illustration, a dress can be compared online from any stores over all the country and purchase it at the best discounted price. In addition, websites provide a huge discount as there is no intermediaries on the online platform, which includes the direct purchase from a seller to the purchaser moreover, the latest products are being released only on online websites which may not be available in the shops. For instance, the mobile phones launched recently are only seen on amazon website, whereas the offline dealers get them after few days. Thus to conclude, increasing population as more attracted to the online shopping which is leading to the downfall of stores and shops in the cities.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
have
tremendously
increased and have attributed the fact of closing the shops in the cities. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the rise in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
websites and the impact creating on offline sales. In this essay, we will discuss the factors contributing for the reduction in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping is a boom to everyone, as it saves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time and money. One individual does not need to drive to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
and select their apparel where we can find it within our finger tips,
furthermore
, we can compare the prices on each shopping app choosing
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
best affordable price for the product. It becomes a hassle when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to offline, looking for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
and comparing prices consumes more time and energy. For a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration, a dress can
be compared
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
from any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
over all the country and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
it at the best discounted price.

In addition
, websites provide a huge discount as there is no intermediaries on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
platform, which includes the direct
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
from a seller to the purchaser
moreover
, the latest products are
being released
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
websites which may not be available in the shops.
For instance
, the mobile phones launched recently are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
amazon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
website
, whereas the offline dealers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
them after few days.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
to conclude
, increasing population as more attracted to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping which is leading to the downfall of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
and shops in the cities.
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IELTS essay online shops to close offline stores

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
248 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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