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Online shopping will lead to shut down of all shops in city and town. Do you agree or disagree?

Online shopping will lead to shut down of all shops in city and town. JowrE
The meteoric rise of e-commerce has lead to the decline in offline sales and will eventually become the reason for its closure. This essay agrees that rising popularity of online shopping will lead lead to the shut down of city shops. Firstly, this essay will discuss about variety of options online shops provide and secondly, it will discuss about the ease of shopping these platforms provide. Shopping websites provides a plethora of options to the buyers. Customers can compare prices, color options and various other features of the product from varity of sellers online. On the contrary, this is not possible in offline shopping where consumers have limited stuff to choose from. In a recent study published by Times Journal, consumers prefer online shopping as they get most economical prices for the product. Comfort of shopping is another reason people are shifting towards online stores. People, nowadays, prefer to shop on the go as they don't want to spare time to go to stores and buy stuff. Shopping as an activity has become secondary for people and hence, they prefer buy things during their leisure time like lunch breaks or while travelling back home from office, etc. In a recent survey done in my office, an astonishing 82% people preferred shopping online & comfort being one of the prime reason. To conclude, variety of sellers providing multiple choices to the consumer and shopping at a touch of button have given people the comfort zone and hence, saved a consumer's two precious belongings, namely, time and money.
The meteoric rise of e-commerce has lead to the decline in offline sales and will
eventually
become the reason for its closure. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that rising popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
will
Possible typo: you repeated a word
lead lead
to the shut down of city shops.
Firstly
, this essay will
Did you mean simply "discuss variety"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about variety
of options
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shops provide and
secondly
, it will
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
these platforms provide.

Shopping websites provides a plethora of options to the buyers. Customers can compare prices, color options and various other features of the product from
Possible spelling mistake found.
varity
of sellers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
.
On the contrary
, this is not possible in offline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
where consumers have limited stuff to choose from. In a recent study published by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Times
Journal, consumers prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
most economical prices for the product.

Comfort of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is another reason
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are shifting towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
stores.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
, nowadays, prefer to shop on the go as they don't want to spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to go to stores and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
stuff.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Shopping
as an activity has become secondary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
hence
, they prefer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things during their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
like lunch breaks or while travelling back home from office, etc. In a recent survey done in my office, an astonishing 82%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
preferred
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
& comfort being one of the prime reason.

To conclude
, variety of sellers providing multiple choices to the consumer and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
at a touch of button have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
the comfort zone and
hence
, saved a consumer's two precious belongings,
namely
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and money.
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IELTS essay Online shopping will lead to shut down of all shops in city and town.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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