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Online shopping will lead to closer of shops in towns and cities

Online shopping will lead to closer of shops in towns and cities 2rMmM
In this modern era, the craze for fashion and demand of its industry is at its peak. Nowadays, a drastic change is witnessed in buying patterns of people. As, they are more dependent on online shopping. But, that does not mean that, they will never visit shops. I disagree to say that online shopping will lead to shut down of local shops. Firstly, it will be good to agree that, online shopping to a great extent provides a convenient and hassle free platform to buy favorite things in speed of light. For instance, shopping from myntra, amazon etc. But, many surveys have shown that, to make instant deliveries most of time a duplicate or low quality products are sent. Considering this, the customers facing such issues always prefer to buy branded items from their outlets and showrooms. Moreover, for people with no access to online facilities, still visits the local shops and consider that appropriate. Secondly, one cannot deny the fact that, for the purpose of widening the customer network many designers and apparel companies tries to influence their customers by giving lucrative online offers every season and people do respond such offers. However, for elite buyers who consider quality and fit as priority and avoid online shopping, these approachers has to give offers at their local showrooms. Hence, ultimately the offline stores have to sustain. To conclude, I would say that, even if with the help of technology online shopping gains lot of popularity, it still has loopholes. Therefore, there will be no chance that people will stop buying from shops or they will be closed.
In this modern era, the craze for fashion and demand of its industry is at its peak. Nowadays, a drastic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is witnessed
in buying patterns of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
, they are more dependent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, that does not mean that, they will never visit shops. I disagree to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
will lead to shut down of local shops.

Firstly
, it will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
to a great extent provides a convenient and hassle free platform to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
favorite things in speed of light.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
from
Possible spelling mistake found.
myntra
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
amazon
etc.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
surveys have shown that, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
instant deliveries
Consider using "most time" or "most of the time".
most of time
a duplicate or low quality products are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
. Considering this, the customers facing such issues always prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
branded items from their outlets and showrooms.
Moreover
, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with no access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
facilities,
still
visits the local shops and consider that appropriate.

Secondly
, one cannot deny the fact that, for the purpose of widening the customer network
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
designers and apparel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
tries to influence their customers by giving lucrative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
offers every season and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do respond such offers.
However
, for elite buyers who consider quality and fit as priority and avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, these
Possible spelling mistake found.
approachers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
give offers at their local showrooms.
Hence
,
ultimately
the offline stores
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
sustain.

To conclude
, I would say that, even if with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
gains
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
popularity, it
still
has loopholes.
Therefore
, there will be no chance that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
buying from
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
shops or
they will
be closed
.
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IELTS essay Online shopping will lead to closer of shops in towns and cities

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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