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Online shopping vs market shopping.discuss both or give your opinion

Online shopping vs market shopping. discuss both or give your opinion APw1l
One of the most notable aspects of modern society is growth of e-commerce. In recent years, the rate of in store shopping has plunged due to vast opportunities for buying different products including daily necessaries from many online stores. The essay will try to demonstrate chances such as convenience and product availability behind the popularity of e-shopping. First of all, the reason behind the popularity of e shopping is convenient which is understood from many virtual shops all over the world. The reason why, people nowadays are busier than ever because of the today’s busy lifestyle and they want to save much much time for relaxation. So virtual shopping gives prospect of time saving and people enjoy taking it. Besides, superstores sometimes run out of products in precise moment when people need them which online shops rarely have this crisis. Moreover, people often become isolated in their rooms through e-shopping which can affect their feelings and behaviour. In spite of, market shopping offer many benefits. To start with, the layout, infrastructure and interior design of such market and malls are so attractive that people are motivated to visit them. Next, they offer amenities like parking, air conditioning, security, escalators and so on. All these facilities make the malls and market a preferred choice for many customers. People often visit and purchase from such places because of their popularity. Also people can check the quality of the products. In store shopping, one benefit is quick and easy to access things. In closing, online shopping can obtain greater popularity as compared to market shopping.
One of the most notable aspects of modern society is growth of e-commerce. In recent years, the rate of in store
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has plunged due to vast opportunities for buying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
including daily necessaries from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
online stores. The essay will try to demonstrate chances such as convenience and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
availability behind the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popularity
of e-shopping.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the reason behind the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popularity
of e
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is convenient which
is understood
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
virtual shops all over the world. The reason why,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays are busier than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s busy
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
lifestyle and
they want to save
Possible typo: you repeated a word
much much
time for relaxation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
gives prospect of time saving and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
enjoy taking it.
Besides
, superstores
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
run out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in precise moment when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need them which online shops rarely have this crisis.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
become isolated in their rooms through e-shopping which can affect their feelings and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, the layout, infrastructure and interior design of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
and malls are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
attractive that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are motivated
to visit them.
Next
, they offer amenities like parking, air conditioning, security, escalators and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. All these facilities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the malls and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
a preferred choice for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
customers.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
visit and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
from such places
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popularity
.
Also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the quality of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. In store
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, one benefit is quick and easy to access things.

In closing, online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
can obtain greater
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popularity
as compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
.
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IELTS essay Online shopping vs market shopping. discuss both or give your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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