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advantages and disadvantage of mass media

advantages and disadvantage of mass media drle2
As many people know, mass media is becoming one of the most important roles in our daily life and society. Mass media affects almost every part of life, especially in industrialized countries. It includes television, newspaper, magazines or the internet, etc. . So we can see that mass media brings us various advantages. First of all, it helps us to learn more about the world and to know and see many new things. Moreover, mass media contributes to the world’s togetherness. It helps people to understand each other and appreciate their differences. For example, through the Cultural Journey TV show, we can discover the culture, tradition, food of many Asian countries namely VietNam, China, Japan, Korea. Secondly, it is mass media that has helped people organize their activities in a scientific and successful way. As an illustration, only when we follow the weather forecast on the radio or the television every day, can we bring an umbrella and avoid getting wet. Another pro is mass media connects people around the world and shares information quickly. This is exemplified that we can strike up a friendship via Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. On the other hand, mass media is not entirely beneficial, it also has some drawbacks. When people spend much time on the mass media, they cannot be active in their outdoor activities such as playing sports or jogging. In addition, cyber of bullying not only causes damage to people but also affects our spiritual life. It threatens and hurts everyone. To sum up, the world has become a better place as a result of mass media, but we must not dismiss the bad impacts of it. It is up to each individual to decide the appropriate boundaries for using mass media to make a better society.
As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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people
know,
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mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is becoming one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
roles in our daily life and society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
affects almost every part of life,
especially
in industrialized countries. It includes television, newspaper, magazines or the internet, etc.
Two consecutive dots
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
brings us various advantages.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to learn more about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and to know and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new things.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
contributes to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world’s
togetherness. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to understand each other and appreciate their differences.
For example
, through the Cultural Journey TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
, we can discover the culture, tradition, food of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Asian countries
namely
Possible spelling mistake found.
VietNam
, China, Japan, Korea.
Secondly
, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
that has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
organize their activities in a scientific and successful way. As an illustration,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when we follow the weather forecast on the radio or the television every day, can we bring an umbrella and avoid getting wet. Another pro is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
connects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and shares information
quickly
. This
is exemplified
that we can strike up a friendship via Facebook, Twitter, Instagram.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is not
entirely
beneficial, it
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend much time on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, they cannot be active in their outdoor activities such as playing sports or jogging.
In addition
, cyber of bullying not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
causes damage to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
affects our spiritual life. It threatens and hurts everyone.

To sum up, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
has become a better place
as a result
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not dismiss the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impacts of it. It is up to each individual to decide the appropriate boundaries for using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a better society.
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IELTS essay advantages and disadvantage of mass media

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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