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online shopping is common nowadays. is this a positive development?

online shopping is common nowadays. is this a positive development? 63GB
Shopping from stores is currently substituted by virtual stores on internet. There is an increasing number of people have changed their shopping habit and prefer purchasing their grocery, clothing, or technological gadgets online. Personally, I consider this is a adverse trend in the consideration of environmental health and potential cybercrime. This following essay will further share my point of view. The primary reason why I do not support online stores is due to the fact it involves a large amount of packaging wasting and transportation cost, which are detrimental to our planet health. For instance, Taobao is one of the largest online shopping platform in China and the consumers are not only people from China but also across the globe. It would generate a considerable amount of carbon gases when products are shipped from China to the other countries and also the owners would utilise numerous unnecessary plastic to wrap the product in order to keep it in good condition. These behaviors would cause additional burden to global warming, one of the imminent problems the world facing, and it would eventually endanger human being’s lives. Further, when consumers purchasing on internet, they are commonly required to enter their personal details and credit card information to process their purchase. If the online stores do not have a secure system, consumers’ details could be stolen easily and be used fraudulently when their stores’ website are being hacked. For example, the internet theft would use those credit card details to buy numerous luxury products at the consumer cost that could be hard to be recovered and traced by police. As such, people would suffer a significant financial loss. Although some people consider shopping online is convenient without district and time limitation, from my perspective, this convenience does not worth the risk for data security and the planet health as mentioned above. Therefore, I consider the shopping habit online should not be encouraged. To conclude, it could be handy for individual to shop online, however, in my opinion, this phenomenon could potentially bring a number of adverse impacts on the Earth’s health and security on personal details that should be avoided.
Shopping
from
stores
is
currently
substituted by virtual
stores
on internet. There is an increasing number of
people
have
changed
their
shopping
habit and prefer purchasing their grocery, clothing, or technological gadgets
online
.
Personally
, I consider this is
a
adverse trend in the consideration of environmental
health
and potential cybercrime. This following essay will
further
share my point of view.

The primary reason why I do not support
online
stores
is due to the fact it involves a large amount of packaging wasting and transportation cost, which are detrimental to our planet
health
.
For instance
, Taobao is one of the largest
online
shopping
platform in China and the
consumers
are not
only
people
from China
but
also
across the globe. It would generate a considerable amount of carbon gases when products
are shipped
from China to the other countries and
also
the owners would
utilise
numerous unnecessary plastic to wrap the product in order to
keep
it in
good
condition. These behaviors would cause additional burden to global warming, one of the imminent problems the world facing, and it would
eventually
endanger human being’s
lives
.

Further
, when
consumers
purchasing on internet, they are
commonly
required to enter their personal
details
and credit card information to process their
purchase
. If the
online
stores
do not have a secure system,
consumers’
details
could
be stolen
easily
and be
used
fraudulently
when their
stores’
website are
being hacked
.
For example
, the internet theft would
use
those credit card
details
to
buy
numerous luxury products at the
consumer
cost that could be
hard
to
be recovered
and traced by police. As such,
people
would suffer a significant financial loss.

Although
some
people
consider
shopping
online
is convenient without district and time limitation, from my perspective, this convenience does not worth the
risk
for data security and the planet
health
as mentioned above.
Therefore
, I consider the
shopping
habit
online
should not
be encouraged
.

To conclude
, it could be handy for individual to shop
online
,
however
, in my opinion, this phenomenon could
potentially
bring a number of adverse impacts on the Earth’s
health
and security on personal
details
that should
be avoided
.
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IELTS essay online shopping is common nowadays. is this a positive development?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
357 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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