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Online shopping is better than offline shopping. To what extent do you agree?

Online shopping is better than offline shopping. lLJWX
Many are of the belief that offline shopping is worse than online shopping. I totally disagree with this statement due to 2 reasons. First, people can go to the changing room. Second, a person can spend time with friends or with family during the shopping trip. Firstly, there is a big advantage in offline shopping that people can try clothes on using the changing room, because things on a person may look different from a picture. To clarify, things may not fit or look ugly. In the picture, things are specially photographed using special light to look beautiful. A good case in point would be bright colors: if you shine on them, it will seem brighter than it really is. Secondly, during a shopping trip, people can spend time with their friends and families. After some time in the store, you can take a rest and drink a cup of coffee with your company. Nowadays, almost every big shopping mall has cafes, gyms, cinemas and other different activities. To elucidate, a shopping trip may not be only for shopping, because there are a lot of opportunities to do something with friends. For instance, in Minsk there are a lot of big shopping malls, where everyone can go shopping and watch movies during their time there. To conclude, I am sure that offline shopping is better than online shopping because of 2 big advantages: it is extremely important to try on the item in the fitting room and during your shopping trip you can spend time with friends doing other activities like drinking coffee and watching movies.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
are of the belief that offline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is worse than online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. I
totally
disagree with this statement due to 2 reasons.
First
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can go to the changing room. Second, a person can spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
or with family during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
trip.

Firstly
, there is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
advantage in offline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can try clothes on using the changing room,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
things on a person may look
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from a picture. To clarify, things may not fit or look ugly. In the picture, things are
specially
photographed using special light to look
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
case in point would be bright colors: if you shine on them, it will seem brighter than it
really
is.

Secondly
, during a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
trip,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and families. After
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in the store, you can take a rest and drink a cup of coffee with your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. Nowadays, almost every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
mall has
'cafes' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "cafés"
cafes
, gyms, cinemas and other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
activities. To elucidate, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
trip may not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
opportunities to do something with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
For instance
, in Minsk there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
malls, where everyone can go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
movies during their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
there.

To conclude
, I am sure that offline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is better than online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
advantages: it is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to try on the item in the fitting room and during your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
trip you can spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
doing other activities like drinking coffee and watching movies.
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IELTS essay Online shopping is better than offline shopping.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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