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Online shopping has various advantages for consumers, but it may also have several disadvantages including the loss of individual privacy. Do the advantages of online shopping for consumers outweigh the disadvantages?

Online shopping has various advantages for consumers, but it may also have several disadvantages including the loss of individual privacy. Do the advantages of online shopping for consumers outweigh the disadvantages? VEX2m
It is true fact that in resent days the proliferation of various online stores and supermarkets include many conveniences and it is apparent that the opening of these types of online ones can be factor to reduce the hassle and time consuming. The main advantage of making it closer to the elderly with that it provides opportunities for younger members of the society. Often meaning that every teengers or adults are able to find all their type of things from the online shops which they really need to them on a daily basis. Additionally, it clear that there are a lot of online order discounts when some people become busy with a topical issue in order to discounts in these stores will also allow to buy expensive items at affordable prices for people. Furthermore, people are able to make payment any way they want as well as plastic card or cash moreover, for the time being, they can transfer money via click. On the other hand, the main disadvantage online shops are sometimes considered more expensive than ordinary ones which they buy on regular basis. For istance, online stores contain high qualtiy things which are imported from abroad, a great quality items or cloths. Another reason, purchasing a lot from online shops by humans it should be admitted that as a consequense, less mobility is observed in humans. As a result, it causes a rise in weight which is not good for human's health. In conclusion, despite being found to be the most expensive of the others it is called a place where people can meet their needs and conform to their consience.
It is true fact that in resent days the proliferation of various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
stores and supermarkets include
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
conveniences and it is apparent that the opening of these types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
can be
Consider using a past participle here: "factored".
factor
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the hassle and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
.

The main advantage of making it closer to the elderly with that it provides opportunities for younger members of the society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Often
meaning that every
Possible spelling mistake found.
teengers
or adults are able to find all their type of things from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shops which they
really
need to them on a daily basis.
Additionally
, it
Did you mean "clears"?
clear
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
order discounts when
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become busy with a topical issue in order to discounts in these stores will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
expensive items at affordable prices for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
payment any way they want
as well
as plastic card or cash
moreover
, for the time being, they can transfer money via click.

On the other hand
, the main disadvantage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shops are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
considered more expensive than ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
on regular basis. For
Possible spelling mistake found.
istance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
stores contain high
Possible spelling mistake found.
qualtiy
things which
are imported
from abroad, a great quality
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "item"?
items
or cloths. Another reason, purchasing a lot from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shops by humans it should
be admitted
that as a
Possible spelling mistake found.
consequense
, less mobility
is observed
in humans.
As a result
, it causes a rise in weight which is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for human's health.

In conclusion
, despite
being found
to be the most expensive of the others it
is called
a place where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their needs and conform to their
Possible spelling mistake found.
consience
.
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IELTS essay Online shopping has various advantages for consumers, but it may also have several disadvantages including the loss of individual privacy. Do the advantages of online shopping for consumers outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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