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online sale retail sector in newzeland

online sale retail sector in newzeland 15WBL
The figures illustrate the proportion of four different online retail sales categories in New Zealand in two different periods. It can be seen that the sales of film or music and books in the country had increased over the ten-year period, while travel and clothing sectors were in the opposite position. In 2003, the online sales of travel industries in New Zealand accounted for 36% of the total sector, which was 12% higher than the clothing sector. However, over the decade, both figures had declined sharply to 29% and 16% respectively. In the film or music category, it is noticed that the online sales figure of the sector had risen drastically by 12% to reach 33% in 2013. As for the sector of books, it had increased slightly from 19% in 2003 to 22% in 2013. In conclusion, it is clear that between 2003 and 2013, the online sales of travel and clothing in New Zealand had dropped, while the sales of film and music and books had grown.
The figures illustrate the proportion of four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
retail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
categories in New Zealand in two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
periods. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of film or music and books in the country had increased over the ten-year period, while travel and clothing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
were in the opposite position.

In 2003, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of travel industries in New Zealand accounted for 36% of the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
, which was 12% higher than the clothing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
.
However
, over the decade, both figures had declined
sharply
to 29% and 16%
respectively
.

In the film or music category, it
is noticed
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
figure of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
had risen
drastically
by 12% to reach 33% in 2013. As for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
of books, it had increased
slightly
from 19% in 2003 to 22% in 2013.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that between 2003 and 2013, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of travel and clothing in New Zealand had dropped, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of film and music and books had grown.
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IELTS essay online sale retail sector in newzeland

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
169 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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