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Do you Agree or disagree that some countries

Do you Agree or disagree that some countries n6Jan
Global athletic events such as the Olympics, the World Cup, the Extreme Games, and even the American Super Bowl are incredible opportunities for countries. These iconic spectacles can provide a country with an economic avalanche of benefits or expose it to a public relations disaster. This essay will look at both points, using Russia and the United Kingdom as examples. Firstly, it is important to bear in mind that simply hosting the event and having the world’s media attention cannot guarantee a positive promotion. This is because although the country is receiving enormous amounts of publicity, the media will often report controversial news as well as. Take the Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia, for example. The media spotlight is shining bright on the athletes but also highlighting the polemic legislation regarding homosexuality. Therefore, despite the international recognition to be gained, the country can also face a possible backlash. Secondly, the expense of building large infrastructures necessary to hold these events can dwarf the benefits, unless they are fully amortized afterwards. This is largely due to the fact that stadiums, Olympic parks, ski runs etc. are expensive to construct and undertake large capital expenditure, often by the public sector. In the Commonwealth Games in Manchester in 2002, the council commissioned a stadium for athletic events which was later adapted and sold to the local preeminent football club, Manchester City. Therefore with proper, fair, economic management of such buildings and facilities the cost can be recuperated. To conclude, a host city or nation has a lot to gain from these events but only if they are economically administered correctly and the country has no controversial issues for the media to pull out of the closet.
Global athletic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
such as the Olympics, the World Cup, the Extreme Games, and even the American Super Bowl are incredible opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. These iconic spectacles can provide a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
with an economic avalanche of benefits or expose it to a public relations disaster. This essay will look at both points, using Russia and the United Kingdom as examples.

Firstly
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to bear in mind that
simply
hosting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
and having the world’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
attention cannot guarantee a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
promotion. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is receiving enormous amounts of publicity, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
report controversial news
as well
as.

Take the Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia,
for example
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
spotlight is shining bright on the athletes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
highlighting the polemic legislation regarding homosexuality.
Therefore
, despite the international recognition to
be gained
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can
also
face a possible backlash.

Secondly
, the expense of building large infrastructures necessary to hold these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
can dwarf the benefits, unless they are
fully
amortized afterwards. This is
largely
due to the fact that stadiums, Olympic parks, ski runs etc. are expensive to construct and undertake large capital expenditure,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
by the public sector.

In the Commonwealth Games in Manchester in 2002, the council commissioned a stadium for athletic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
which was later adapted and sold to the local preeminent football club, Manchester City.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
with proper,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
, economic management of such buildings and facilities the cost can
be recuperated
.

To conclude
, a host city or nation has a lot to gain from these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if they are
economically
administered
correctly
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has no controversial issues for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
to pull out of the closet.
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IELTS essay Do you Agree or disagree that some countries

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
283 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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