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Online learning is more effective than traditional learning

Online learning is more effective than traditional learning okdRq
I believe that online learning is more effective than traditional learning because of the fact that it is more convenient and easy to interact with teachers and students. On the one hand, students can study anywhere, with no restrictions on areas. To illustrate this point is that we could learn in a coffee shop without going to school for attending lectures. Moreover, during the current pandemic, it is essential to avoid direct contact and large gatherings so online learning is the best option. Meanwhile, those who disagree with this opinion would argue that traditional learning is more useful. It is partially true as it is easier to develop a friendship with their classmates and others. Participating in discussions, working in groups face-to-face together helps them promote relationships with classmates more quickly. For example, you can make small talk to understand faster. However, I still admit that in the present day, students can interact with their teachers or friends via social media, emails, Facebook when they learn online. As technology advances, we have many ways to keep in touch. For example, research has shown up to 90% of people in the world use social networks every day. In summary, online learning is more effective.
I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
is more effective than traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "because".
because of the fact that
it is more convenient and easy to interact with teachers and students. On the one hand, students can study anywhere, with no restrictions on areas. To illustrate this point is that we could learn in a coffee shop without going to school for attending lectures.
Moreover
, during the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
pandemic, it is essential to avoid direct contact and large gatherings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
is the best option. Meanwhile, those who disagree with this opinion would argue that traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
is more useful. It is
partially
true as it is easier to develop a friendship with their classmates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
. Participating in discussions, working in groups face-to-face together
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them promote relationships with classmates more
quickly
.
For example
, you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
talk to understand faster.
However
, I
still
admit that in the present day, students can interact with their teachers or friends via social media, emails, Facebook when they learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. As technology advances, we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch.
For example
, research has shown up to 90% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
social networks every day. In summary,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
is more effective.
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IELTS essay Online learning is more effective than traditional learning

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
203 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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