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One of the major problems that faces today’s governments is creating enough satisfactory housing for their increasing populations whilst still trying to protect the environment. Discuss this statement and give your opinion. v.1

One of the major problems that faces today’s governments is creating enough satisfactory housing for their increasing populations whilst still trying to protect the environment. Discuss this statement and give your opinion. v. 1
In a world with an ever-growing population, providing housing is one of the crucial tasks of all governments. At the same time, however, the environment has to be protected from too much destruction and deforestation. Different solutions have been created to solve these problems. One significant solution could be increasing the height of buildings. When looking at the skyline of metropolitan cities, skyscrapers are becoming increasingly visible. The reason for this is simple: housing has to be provided, while the environment should suffer the least amount possible. Decreasing the building footprints of houses and therefore the destruction of the environment, while increasing the height, is an effective solution in overcoming this dilemma. This resolution also has its faults though, as increasing height also means that the sunlight reaching the streets will decrease and that housing will be built more densely in order to save space. Another possible solution is to increase building costs to pressure the population into living in smaller areas, which would save space. As this impacts members of the community unevenly depending on their wealth, this would encourage unequal living standards and conflicts as a result of this. Therefore, this is not a plausible solution to the problem. In my opinion, finding the perfect way to minimise environmental damage while increasing housing is a problem to which there is no simple solution. Many governments are currently relying on height to solve the problem, but this is not attractive to many people. Any solution chosen should be one that causes the fewest problems.
In a world with an ever-growing population, providing housing is one of the crucial tasks of all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
. At the same time,
however
, the environment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be protected
from too much destruction and deforestation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
have
been created
to solve these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. One significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
could be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
height
of buildings.

When looking at the skyline of metropolitan cities, skyscrapers are becoming
increasingly
visible.
The reason for this is
simple: housing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be provided
, while the environment should suffer the least amount possible. Decreasing the building footprints of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
and
therefore
the destruction of the environment, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
height
, is an effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
in overcoming this dilemma. This resolution
also
has its faults though, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
height
also
means that the sunlight reaching the streets will decrease and that housing will
be built
more
densely
in order to save space.

Another possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
is to increase building costs to pressure the population into living in smaller areas, which would save space. As this impacts members of the community
unevenly
depending on their wealth, this would encourage unequal living standards and conflicts
as a result
of this.
Therefore
, this is not a plausible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
to the problem.

In my opinion, finding the perfect way to
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimise' is British English.
minimise
environmental damage while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
housing is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
to which there is no simple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
are
currently
relying on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
height
to solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this is not attractive to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
chosen should be one that causes the fewest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay One of the major problems that faces today’s governments is creating enough satisfactory housing for their increasing populations whilst still trying to protect the environment. Discuss this statement and give your opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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