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One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is Increasing Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages 2 Give teasons for your answer and inchide breathles from your own knowledge or experience Write at least 250 words

One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is Increasing Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages 2 Give teasons for your answer and inchide breathles from your own knowledge or experience 3KeJ
Advanced healthcare systems are improving the people's lives by making healthcare systems more affordable and accessible to all hierarchies of the society. Technology is playing the major role in improving them. For example, To detect the disease like diabetes retinopathy the scanned image of a patient’s eye was to be examined by the expert radiologist. This increased the demand for radiologist and was more expensive. This often ravaged eye-sight of many poor people. This for many periods look inevitable but with the help of Artificial Intelligence the problem was countered. The AI-algorithms were trained to detect the disease and were deployed on the edge-device so that the disease is detected there without the need of a radiologist. This is a fast process and became very affordable. What surprised the people more was the fact that the AI technology is able to detect the disease accurately than many of the expert radiologists. The similar researches are being carried out to tackle many other deadly diseases like Arthritis. These improved systems are fast and are also affordable. These faster systems leads to speedy recovery of the patient from the disease. The fact that machines do make mistakes is undeniable. Many a time these errors could cost a life which is unacceptable. To conclude, the advances in healthcare systems especially the role of AI and robotics are playing a vital role in people’s life. These often lead to ground-breaking solutions like giving artificial legs, fingers and other body parts to the ones who have lost it. On the other hand, researches have to make sure errors are not made by these technologies which could lead to horrendous results.
Advanced healthcare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
are improving the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
by making healthcare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
more affordable and accessible to all hierarchies of the society.

Technology is playing the major role in improving them.
For example
, To detect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
like diabetes retinopathy the scanned image of a patient’s eye was to
be examined
by the expert radiologist. This increased the demand for radiologist and was more expensive. This
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
ravaged eye-sight of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
This
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
periods look inevitable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of Artificial Intelligence the problem
was countered
. The AI-algorithms
were trained
to detect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
and
were deployed
on the edge-device
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
is detected
there without the need of a radiologist. This is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
process and became
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
affordable. What surprised the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
more was the fact that the AI technology is able to detect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
accurately
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the expert radiologists.

The similar researches are
being carried
out to tackle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other deadly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
like Arthritis. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and are
also
affordable. These faster
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
leads to speedy recovery of the patient from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
. The fact that machines do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
mistakes is undeniable.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
a time these errors could cost a life which is unacceptable.

To conclude
, the advances in healthcare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
especially
the role of AI and robotics are playing a vital role in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s life. These
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
lead to ground-breaking solutions like giving artificial legs, fingers and other body parts to the ones who have lost it.
On the other hand
, researches
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure errors are not made by these technologies which could lead to horrendous results.

IELTS essay One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is Increasing Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages 2 Give teasons for your answer and inchide breathles from your own knowledge or experience

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is Increasing Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages 2 Give teasons for your answer and inchide breathles from your own knowledge or experience Write at least 250 words