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One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are leaving longer and life expectancy is increasing? Do you think the benefits of this development outweigh the drawbacks?

One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are leaving longer and life expectancy is increasing? Do you think the benefits of this development outweigh the drawbacks? mKk8
It is irrefutable that significant advances are made in the field of medicine, resulting in longevity. In this regard, the question of whether the benefits of long life expectancy outwiegh its drawbacks or not has been a heated debate in recent years. This essay will explore both, the advantages and disadvantages of this issue, and demonstrate why it is positive development. In regards to the disadvantages, the main negative side is potenitial increase in the number of retired people who recieve a pension. Additionally, the demand for healthcare also increases because most old people tend to have problems with thier health. In turn, this causes a greater tax which is considered as a duty of working adults. However, although this is understandable concern, this viewpoints undermines the true value of enjoying life. On the other hand, most people study and work during thier whole life to create better facilities. After thier long journey, they have a right to get a chance to do hobbies and acitivities they love along with travelling where they wish. Another major benefit of longevity is that the olds help adults by looking after thier children and giving some valuable advice. For instance, most grandmothers try to help their daughters to bring up their grandchildren by sharing their experiance. In conclusion, while inceasing life expectancy has some negative points, they are ougtweighed by the significant benefits of this approach.
It is irrefutable that significant advances
are made
in the field of medicine, resulting in longevity. In this regard,
the question of whether
the benefits of long life expectancy
outwiegh
its drawbacks or not has been a heated debate in recent years. This essay will explore both, the advantages and disadvantages of this issue, and demonstrate why it is
positive
development.

In regards to
the disadvantages, the main
negative
side is
potenitial
increase in the number of retired
people
who
recieve
a pension.
Additionally
, the demand for healthcare
also
increases
because
most
old
people
tend to have problems with
thier
health. In turn, this causes a greater tax which
is considered
as a duty of working adults.
However
, although this is understandable concern,
this
viewpoints undermines the true value of enjoying life.

On the other hand
, most
people
study and work during
thier
whole life to create better facilities. After
thier
long journey, they have a right to
get
a chance to do hobbies and
acitivities
they
love
along with travelling where they wish. Another major benefit of longevity is that the olds
help
adults by looking after
thier
children and giving
some
valuable advice.
For instance
, most grandmothers try to
help
their daughters to bring up their grandchildren by sharing their
experiance
.

In conclusion
, while
inceasing
life expectancy has
some
negative
points, they are
ougtweighed
by the significant benefits of this approach.
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IELTS essay One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are leaving longer and life expectancy is increasing? Do you think the benefits of this development outweigh the drawbacks?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
233 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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