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One of the best ways to teach children to manage their money is to let them control their budget from an early age. To what exten do you agree or disagree with this statement

One of the best ways to teach children to manage their money is to let them control their budget from an early age. To what exten X928
Nowadays, it's common that many parents offer their children a sum of money. Some people are sure that this method helps children develop independent skills required. I personally agree this way would enlarge children' abilities, however, there are some dangers can't be excepted. My essay'll take both sides of the arguments Primarily, one the the advantages of this practice is the accomplishment of knowledge about money management in childhood. It can strengthen their faculties to confront with complexities. Moreover, it's extremely necessary for parents to give offsprings a small budget as children' needs are the same as elder'. They can effectively manage incidences like the unexpected cancellations of public transports. Last but not least, they often create social relationships in social On the other hand, the children are always good humorous in nature and thay are nots clever enough to take informed decisions. Children can be enticed to spend cash in wrong purposes such as: smoking, drinking, or being addicted to drugs. It leads to increasing crime rates. Besides, the evil-minded peopelcould take as a sourse of revenue by cheating and harming youngster for money Granted it's true that money's the elementary reason of bad behaviors in society but in my opinion, the negative aspects are much less rossy than many individuals thought In conclusion, to let children control a small amount of money makes them become experts in purchasing, financial management. So parents should provide freedom to their kids in terms of purchasing their favorite and desired product and gadgets
Nowadays, it's common that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parents offer their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
a sum of money.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are sure that this method
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
develop independent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
required. I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
this way would enlarge children' abilities,
however
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
can't
be excepted
. My essay'll take both sides of the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
arguments


Primarily
, one
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
advantages of this practice is the accomplishment of knowledge about money management in childhood. It can strengthen their faculties to confront with complexities.
Moreover
, it's
extremely
necessary for parents to give
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
budget as children' needs are the same as elder'. They can
effectively
manage incidences like the unexpected cancellations of public transports. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
create social relationships in social

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
humorous in nature and
Possible spelling mistake found.
thay
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
nots
clever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to take informed decisions.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
can
be enticed
to spend cash in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
purposes such as: smoking, drinking, or
being addicted
to drugs. It leads to increasing crime rates.
Besides
, the evil-minded
Possible spelling mistake found.
peopelcould
take as a
Possible spelling mistake found.
sourse
of revenue by cheating and harming youngster for money

Granted it's true that money's the elementary reason of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
behaviors in society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my opinion, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects are much less
Possible spelling mistake found.
rossy
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought


In conclusion
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
control a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount of money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them become experts in purchasing, financial management.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
parents should provide freedom to their kids in terms of purchasing their favorite and desired product and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
gadgets

IELTS essay One of the best ways to teach children to manage their money is to let them control their budget from an early age. To what exten

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
250 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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