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Once I was careless, Now I am attentive

Once I was careless, Now I am attentive AgWKl
Looking down in life, I have encountered lots of changes that occurred to me and perhaps it is a natural phenomenon to keep on changing as one grows. But a point in time that makes a sudden realization to reconcile with the past is rarely yet more revealing. I used to be a careless person up till last year and had no definitive goal to pursue despite my family kept on pushing me to think about life. Whether or not the carelessness is good, I kept on enjoying it until I took the entrance test of IBA Karachi. Before that, I used to think of myself as a free soul to enjoy life without any sort of tension and responsibilities but there came a definitive point when I touched the grounds and it made me realize that if I want to live this life, it needs to be on my terms and to do so, I need seriousness in my life. The first test I failed did not affect me much until my fourth test which was the last chance to get a scholarship at IBA Karachi. By that time, I was left with no other options and when all of my friends were planning to go somewhere else with a definite plan, I felt clueless and that hit me harder than anything else. It is not because I was left with no like-minded people, but one missing thing was a purpose in my life. I lived most of my life carelessly, spent much of my time on mobile games, made more friends but one thing of being purposeful was lacking in my life that is what changed me. Before all that, I used to think of life as a video game and wished to be a successful person one day but had no plan and the attitude of working at the last moment was heavily driving me. Although I had read more than 50 books so far, one moment was required to teach me the seriousness of life. After that day, I started studying for IBA Karachi and qualified for the next round by being selected to the top few candidates’ list who got direct admission to IBA without an interview. Hence, I got my first-choice department which is Computer Science. This became the first time when I realized that I could have qualified for the test before, but my attitude was hindering my path. Therefore, now I am a staunch believer of an attentive attitude and am taking my life seriously along with my work and trying my best to reconcile with the past. Now, I am living a purpose. If I had to sum it up, I believe that a realization is often a call and a push of our inner self to shift from one stage to another as much as I am now pursuing a reverse attitude than that, I used to follow before.
Looking down in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, I have encountered lots of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
that occurred to me and perhaps it is a natural phenomenon to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on changing as one grows.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
a point in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a sudden realization to reconcile with the past is rarely
yet
more revealing. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be a careless person up till last year and had no definitive goal to pursue despite my family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
on pushing me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Consider shortening this phrase to just "Whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Whether or not
the carelessness is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
on enjoying it until I took the entrance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
test
of IBA Karachi.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Before
that, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of myself as a free soul to enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
without any sort of tension and responsibilities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there came a definitive point when I touched the grounds and it made me realize that if I want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, it needs to be on my terms and to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, I need seriousness in my life.

The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
test
I failed did not affect me much until my fourth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
test
which was the last chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a scholarship at IBA Karachi. By that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, I was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
with no other options and when all of my friends were planning to go somewhere else with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
definite
plan, I felt clueless and that hit me harder than anything else. It is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
with no like-minded
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
one missing thing was a purpose in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
most of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
carelessly
, spent much of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on mobile games, made more friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
one thing of being purposeful was lacking in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
that is
what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
me.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Before
all that, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as a video game and wished to be a successful person one day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
had no plan and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitude
of working at the last moment was
heavily
driving me. Although I had read more than 50 books
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far, one moment
was required
to teach me the seriousness of life.

After that day, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
studying for IBA Karachi and qualified for the
next
round by
being selected
to the top few candidates’ list who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
direct admission to IBA without an interview.
Hence
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
my
first
-choice department which is Computer Science. This became the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
when I realized that I could have qualified for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
test
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitude
was hindering my path.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
I am a staunch believer of an attentive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitude
and
Did you mean "am I"?
am
taking my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
seriously
along with my work and trying my best to reconcile with the past.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, I am living a purpose.

If I had to sum it up, I believe that a realization is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
a call and a push of our inner self to shift from one stage to another as much as I am
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
pursuing a reverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitude
than that, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
.
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IELTS essay Once I was careless, Now I am attentive

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
489 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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