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Once children start school, teachers have more influence than parents on their intellectual and social development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Once children start school, teachers have more influence than parents on their intellectual and social development. 9LQMj
In this contemporary era, study’s play an essential role in everybody’s life. Although some feel that this trend will leave a negative impact on student’s study plan, I however believe it will bring more positive outcomes from that teachers have more impact on children personal growth and educational skills than parents. Firstly, in schools we spend our half of the day with teachers and observe everything very properly. While I concede that the time, we spend at home is invaluable but spending time with teachers in schools we can learn daily new things from them and it is fruitful for us. As a result, teacher can teach all the time with proper guidance in extra- curricular activities with more concentration and develop more academic skills on them. A good illustration, in working family’s parents cannot give proper attention to their children because of the work so teacher in school give more guidance to students. In schools’ students follow the footsteps of the teachers not only in academic but also socially. Many supporters claim that main responsibility of parents is to take care of their children and grow them with proper guidance. However, I would argue that students should follow more the teachers rather than parents because they spend more time with them and have better efficiency to tackle their problems in easy way regarding social life also. When teacher can also advice for their career life and improving grades in school. Take for an example, many celebrities, teachers, influencers attract people through their skills and motivates children to get success in their life. Moreover, if teachers have in-depth knowledge and communication skills, students will immediately adapt such skills. To conclude, once the school starts teachers have more influence rather than parents. Therefore, I acknowledge that parents should give proper advice to their child, I disagree that students will learn more by teacher’s educational knowledge and social development than parents.
In this contemporary era, study’s play an essential role in everybody’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
feel that this trend will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
study plan, I
however
believe it will bring more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcomes from that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
have more impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
personal growth and educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
than parents.

Firstly
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
we spend our half of the day with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and observe everything
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
properly
. While I concede that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, we spend at home is invaluable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
we can learn daily new things from them and it is fruitful for us.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
can teach all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
guidance in extra- curricular activities with more concentration and develop more academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
on them. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration, in working family’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
cannot give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
attention to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
give more guidance to students.

In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
follow the footsteps of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in academic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
socially
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
supporters claim that main responsibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is to take care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and grow them with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
guidance.
However
, I would argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should follow more the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with them and have better efficiency to tackle their problems in easy way regarding social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
also
. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
can
also
The word 'advise' is a noun. Did you mean "advise" (verb)?
advice
for their career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and improving grades in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. Take for an example,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
celebrities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
, influencers attract
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
through their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and motivates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
success in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Moreover
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
have in-depth knowledge and communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will immediately adapt such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

To conclude
, once the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
have more influence
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Therefore
, I acknowledge that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
advice to their child, I disagree that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will learn more by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher’s
educational knowledge and social development than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
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IELTS essay Once children start school, teachers have more influence than parents on their intellectual and social development.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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