Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Once children enter school, teachers have more influence on their intellectual and social developments than parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience

It is true that both parents and teacher have some influence on the children, but I believe it is teachers who influence the students most than their parents once they join the school. Children spend most of their time in school because of which they spend most of their time with their teachers. The students in the school learn different subjects and skills from their teacher and in most cases they are the one who solve their doubts instead of their parents. As a result of this, these young minds are subconsciously influenced to carry out certain tasks and solve certain problems in a way their teachers might have solved or the way they are taught by their teachers. Not only this, as teachers are aware of the potential of their students, the parents and the students believe that they are the right individual who can help their children choose their subjects in high school which will directly affect their careers. Because of the work commitments, the parents find it difficult to spend quality time with their children which is one reason for the less influence on their child. So, if a teacher teaches students some moral principles the students are more likely to follow them in the future. There are many examples which proves my explanation. In my school, many teachers who have encouraged the students to select a particular stream in high school as they knew the potential of their students which helped many to make their careers. Apart from this, parents in my city are dependent on the teachers for their intellectual growth which is the reason for the parents consulting teachers for their higher studies. Thus, it is safe to say that as teachers get to spend more time with children, they directly influence the intellectual and social developments of the children as the children are more likely to adapt the principles and methods taught by their teachers.
It is true that both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I believe it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
Use “more than” to make a comparison with this adjective.
most than
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
once they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the school.

Children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of which they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
subjects and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
and
in most cases
they are the one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
solve their doubts
instead
of their parents.

As a result
of this, these young minds are
subconsciously
influenced to carry out certain tasks and solve certain problems in a way their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
might have solved or the way they
are taught
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
this, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are aware of the potential of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
believe that they are the right individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
choose their subjects in high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
which will
directly
affect their careers.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the work commitments, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
find it difficult to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
which is one reason for the less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
on their child.

“So , if” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So, if
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
teaches
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
moral principles the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are more likely to follow them in the future. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
examples which proves my explanation. In my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have encouraged the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to select a particular stream in high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
as they knew the potential of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their careers. Apart from this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in my city are dependent on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
for their intellectual growth which is the reason for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
consulting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
for their higher studies.

Thus
, it is safe to say that as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, they
directly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
the intellectual and social developments of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are more likely to adapt the principles and methods taught by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Once children enter school, teachers have more influence on their intellectual and social developments than parents. with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
322 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts