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On the other hand, many people opine, that university education can bring benefits that concern not only an actual graduate but benefit the society where a person lives. Upon obtaining a degree, the absolute majority of former students are embarking on their careers and proceed to work in a chosen area of expertise. As a result, it directly contributes to the well-being of a whole country in the long run, not only a particular graduate. Therefore, I strongly support the view, that the purpose of educational entities lies far beyond getting a better place of work. According to recent researches, the contribution of modern universities in a strong country’s economy is about 75 percent.

On the other hand, many people opine, that university education can bring benefits that concern not only an actual graduate but benefit the society where a person lives. Upon obtaining a degree, the absolute majority of former students are embarking on their careers and proceed to work in a chosen area of expertise. As a result, it directly contributes to the well-being of a whole country in the long run, not only a particular graduate. Therefore, I strongly support the view, that the purpose of educational entities lies far beyond getting a better place of work. According to recent researches, the contribution of modern universities in a strong country’s economy is about 75 percent. 3bMRd
Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion. It is commonly believed that the sole purpose of a university degree is enhanced career opportunities. Another viewpoint rests on the opinion, that the benefits of alma mater lie far beyond that and include society. I for one, totally agree with the latter and think that university education is not only about embracing career goals but also about bringing positive moments to the country as a whole. To begin with, many people are obsessed with ascending the career ladder and put all their efforts into achieving high social status. That is why they enter a university with the thought that they will be employed upon graduation and will be able to fulfill their goals. I am convinced, that graduation from a university will not provide a former student with a good workplace just because they passed final exams, as they will have to put an effort in finding a job and proving that they are actually professionals. Unfortunately, in the modern world, it has nothing to do with universities' internal tests. For example, my brother graduated from California State University but was not able to find a job, until he agreed to undergo an unpaid internship. On the other hand, many people opine, that university education can bring benefits that concern not only an actual graduate but benefit the society where a person lives. Upon obtaining a degree, the absolute majority of former students are embarking on their careers and proceed to work in a chosen area of expertise. As a result, it directly contributes to the well-being of a whole country in the long run, not only a particular graduate. Therefore, I strongly support the view, that the purpose of educational entities lies far beyond getting a better place of work. According to recent researches, the contribution of modern universities in a strong country’s economy is about 75 percent. To recapitulate, a university degree will not help a graduate to obtain a better job owing to the fact, that most companies demand special training to be passed in order to be employed. However, when a person graduates from the university, they can enhance society by starting to work without pursuing a better position. For this reason, I think that a university education affects an individual and society as a whole.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe the aim of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. Others believe there are much wider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for both individuals and society.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is
commonly
believed that the sole purpose of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
degree
is enhanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
opportunities. Another viewpoint rests on the opinion, that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
of alma mater lie far beyond that and include
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. I for one,
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the latter and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about embracing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
goals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
about bringing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
moments to the country as a whole.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are obsessed
with ascending the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
ladder and put all their efforts into achieving high social status.
That is
why they enter a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that they will
be employed
upon graduation and will be able to fulfill their goals. I
am convinced
, that graduation from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
will not provide a former student with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
workplace
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they passed final exams, as they will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
put an effort in finding a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and proving that they are actually professionals. Unfortunately, in the modern world, it has nothing to do with universities' internal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
.
For example
, my brother graduated from California State
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
was not able to find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, until he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
to undergo an unpaid internship.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opine, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
that concern not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
an actual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
where a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Upon obtaining a degree, the absolute majority of former students are embarking on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
and proceed to work in a chosen area of expertise.
As a result
, it
directly
contributes to the well-being of a whole country in the long run, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
.
Therefore
, I
strongly
support the view, that the purpose of educational entities lies far beyond getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
place of work. According to recent researches, the contribution of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
in a strong country’s economy is about 75 percent.

To recapitulate, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
degree will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
to obtain a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
owing to the fact, that most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
demand special training to
be passed
in order to
be employed
.
However
, when a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, they can enhance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
by starting to work without pursuing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
position.
For this reason
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
affects an individual and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
as a whole.
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IELTS essay On the other hand, many people opine, that university education can bring benefits that concern not only an actual graduate but benefit the society where a person lives. Upon obtaining a degree, the absolute majority of former students are embarking on their careers and proceed to work in a chosen area of expertise. As a result, it directly contributes to the well-being of a whole country in the long run, not only a particular graduate. Therefore, I strongly support the view, that the purpose of educational entities lies far beyond getting a better place of work. According to recent researches, the contribution of modern universities in a strong country’s economy is about 75 percent.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
418 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • On the other hand, many people opine, that university education can bring benefits that concern not only an actual graduate but benefit the society where a person lives. Upon obtaining a degree, the absolute majority of former students are embarking on their careers and proceed to work in a chosen area of expertise. As a result, it directly contributes to the well-being of a whole country in the long run, not only a particular graduate. Therefore, I strongly support the view, that the purpose of educational entities lies far beyond getting a better place of work. According to recent researches, the contribution of modern universities in a strong country’s economy is about 75 percent.