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Olympic Games pros and cons

Olympic Games pros and cons NVmbN
Olympics is so far the biggest stage to prove talent in any sports. Olympics is a kind of stage where sports people get together and exchange their culture. It not only improves exposure to sports but also helps individuals to exchange culture with fellow participants. 160 individual categories and 50 group category sports are included in the Olympics and the best of the talents compete together to achieve the medal. Winning a medal is a proud moment not only for the individual but also for the country. An Olympic medal is considered as the highest honor by any sports person. Every country sends its most talented people to Olympics to compete with other nations. Olympics administrative board comprises of representatives from all nations and decisions are taken in the interest of promoting sports. Many sports events are about to go extinct and events like Olympics helps to promote that sport to younger generations. According to Sunday Times, every 2 out 5 common people are inspired to start playing sports after watching Olympics. Nonetheless, most Olympic games are sponsored by developed nations and they occur very rarely which justifies their efforts to unify. The countries competing in the Olympics often have fraught international relationships and competition can counter-intuitively decrease tensions. This has the subtle but powerful unconscious result of fostering greater empathy between diverse ethnic and national groups. When an individual roots for their country and their athletes, and sees other individuals partaking in the same ritual, they will realize that association within a larger tribe is an essential, common human trait. Critics argue there are urgent needs that should be prioritized over a sporting event. This applies to every nation but particularly developing ones. In my opinion, despite these valid objections, there is still great value in the unifying impact of the Olympics. In conclusion, despite the seemingly inefficient allocation of funds, the Olympics are a mass, cooperative effort that has tremendous value. Therefore, countries should consider hosting the games a great honor.
Olympics is
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so
far the biggest stage to prove talent in any
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sports
. Olympics is a kind of stage where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
together and exchange their culture. It not
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only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
exposure to
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sports
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but
also
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helps
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individuals
to exchange culture with fellow participants. 160
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individual
categories and 50 group category
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sports
are included
in the Olympics and the best of the talents compete together to achieve the medal. Winning a medal is a proud moment not
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only
for the
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individual
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but
also
for the country.

An Olympic medal
is considered
as the highest honor by any
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sports
person. Every
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country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sends
its most talented
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to Olympics to compete with other
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nations
. Olympics administrative board
Did you mean "comprises" or "consists of"?
comprises of
representatives from all
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nations
and decisions
are taken
in the interest of promoting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
are about to go extinct and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
like Olympics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to promote that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
to younger generations. According to Sunday Times, every 2 out 5 common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are inspired
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
after watching Olympics.

Nonetheless, most
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Olympic games
are sponsored
by developed
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
nations and
they occur
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very
rarely which justifies their efforts to unify. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
competing in the Olympics
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have fraught international relationships and competition can counter-
intuitively
decrease tensions. This has the subtle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
powerful unconscious result of fostering greater empathy between diverse ethnic and national groups. When an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
roots for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and their athletes, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sees
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
partaking in the same ritual, they will realize that association within a larger tribe is an essential, common human trait.

Critics argue there are urgent needs that should
be prioritized
over a sporting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
applies to
every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
particularly
developing ones. In my opinion, despite these valid objections, there is
still
great value in the unifying impact of the Olympics.

In conclusion
, despite the
seemingly
inefficient allocation of funds, the Olympics are a mass, cooperative effort that has tremendous value.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should consider hosting the games a great honor.
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IELTS essay Olympic Games pros and cons

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
333 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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