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IELTS writing task 2 about education in Africa

IELTS writing task 2 about education in Africa W5m7W
These days educating children about growing vegetables is a very important issue. So, some people think that educating primary children to grow vegetables is a useful thing, While others believe that it is useles and it won't help them in their lifes. This essay will discuss both sides and will draw my personal conclusion. In one hand, some people think that it is useless for primary children to know about growing vegetables, because it won't help them in real life, I mean it won't help them to get a better job and it won't improve thier educational level. For example, if my younger brother knows how to grow vegetables, this won't support him to get higher marks in school. So that's why some of us think that it is useles for children to know about growing vegetables. On the other hand, many people think that it is useful for primary children to know about growing vegetables because it will increaase their sense of responsibility, because they will be the responsible of caring about that planet. To illustrate, my younger sister has been growing vegetables for about 3 months, she has a very high level of responsibility and I think growing vegetables has increased her sence of resposibility. In coclusion, after a careful analysis of both point views, I believe that it is useful for primary children to know about growing vegetables to increase their sence of responsibility
These days educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vegetables
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issue.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to grow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vegetables
is a useful thing, While others believe that it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
useles
and it won't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "lives", the plural form of the noun 'life'?
lifes
. This essay will discuss both sides and will draw my personal conclusion.

In one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that it is useless for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vegetables
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it won't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in real life, I mean it won't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a better job and it won't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
educational level.
For example
, if my younger brother
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knows
how to grow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vegetables
, this won't support him to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
higher marks in school.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that's why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of us
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
useles
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growing
vegetables.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that it is useful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vegetables
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will
Possible spelling mistake found.
increaase
their sense of responsibility,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will be the
The usual collocations for "responsible" is "responsible for". Did you mean "responsible for" or "in charge of"?
responsible of
caring about that planet. To illustrate, my younger sister has been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vegetables
for about 3 months, she has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high level of responsibility and I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vegetables
has increased her
Possible spelling mistake found.
sence
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
resposibility
.

In
Possible spelling mistake found.
coclusion
, after a careful analysis of both point views, I believe that it is useful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vegetables
to increase their
Possible spelling mistake found.
sence
of responsibility
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IELTS essay IELTS writing task 2 about education in Africa

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
236 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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