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Environmental Degradation

Environmental Degradation pL5py
The age of our mother earth is about 4. 543 billion years and it become getting older the range of damages are getting riser. Because of the lack of maintenance and that become the responsibility of human beings. This is the general theory that someone have to take care of their homes while living in there. But people hadn't got a chance to take care of the planet, most of the consequences are already happened nowadays. Among these degradation on environments; pollution, less of ozone layers, deforestation are taking the important roles for today situation. Air pollution is the very first problem which we need to fix as the first priority. This is the resource and main reason why living things on this planet are surviving. The starting point of this situation is came from disposals. Garbage can be regarded as the one which can emit the toxic gas when they become last longer. This situation has being occurred along the time before the automobile ages. Now the days have arrived to the era of technology, air pollution is rising with speed. The convenient usage of cars are the perfect machine that are taking the role of the best selling in stock. This fact show that the range of using the car are higher than old days. That gas coming out from the car exhaust burst the ozone layers. So the filters for the ultra violent radiation are gone. This radiation is the additional effect along with the air pollution. The another fact we can classified as the creator of air pollution is about the industries. They are producing the things or some kind of ready made food. They might be producing those services to humans but not for environment. The metabolism of the industry are emitting the harmful gas and ejecting the wastes that become toxic to the water and cause the living creatures and plants to die. That can also take part in three chaos that extremely harm the earth. Rising the air pollution, causing toxic to water and causing the trees neared by the industries to die gradually. That the steps of deforestation started. Trees are the natural gifts that can purified the air which people need to breathe every single seconds of their life spans. Those situations have impacts on human beings. Air pollution forced the people to get diseases like pneumonia and asthma. The skin cancer is coming from the fellowship of the UV rays from the sun through the burst ozone layers. Forests are the gift of nature which can attract the animals to survive under its shadow and maintain the balance of the life cycle. Due to deforestation, the life cycle got disturbed and reduce the beauty of land gradually. We still have chances to slow down these disasters especially for our coming future. Air pollution can be absolutely cured by planting the green trees more than before. Nowadays, scientists are discovering to invent the electric cars which need no more fuels that can become the harmful gas, . And also we can still use the bicycles as a simple way. Avoid using of plastic; we can still use the recycle papers instead of plastic bags that are provided in supermarkets. As the same ways, we can reuse the plastic more longer. The electronic devices that can be replaced in schools and offices instead of using the papers. So no more trees are being cut for papers. Start teaching about the environmental knowledge to schools and then the kids will know the methods to maintain. Because the kids are the future supporters for mother earth.
The age of our mother earth is about 4. 543 billion years and it
Did you mean "becomes"?
become
getting older the range of damages are getting riser.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the lack of maintenance and that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
the responsibility of human beings. This is the general theory that someone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take care of their homes while living in there.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hadn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a chance to take care of the planet, most of the consequences are already happened nowadays. Among
Did you mean "this degradation" or "these degradations"?
these degradation
on environments;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
, less of ozone layers, deforestation are taking the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
roles for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
first
problem which we need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
as the
first
priority. This is the resource and main reason why living things on this planet are surviving. The starting point of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
is
Consider using a past participle here: "come".
came
from disposals. Garbage can
be regarded
as the one which can emit the toxic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
last longer. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
has
being occurred
along the time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the automobile ages.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
the days have arrived to the era of technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is rising with speed. The convenient usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are the perfect machine that are taking the role of the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
best selling
in stock. This fact
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that the range of using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
are higher than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
days. That
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
coming out from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
exhaust burst the ozone layers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the filters for the ultra violent radiation
are gone
. This radiation is the additional effect along with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
. The another fact we can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "classify"
classified
as the creator of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is about the industries. They are producing the things or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
ready made
food. They might be producing those services to humans
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not for environment. The metabolism of the industry are emitting the harmful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
and ejecting the wastes that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
toxic to the water and cause the living creatures and plants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
. That can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in three chaos that
extremely
harm the earth. Rising the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
, causing toxic to water and causing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
neared by the industries to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
gradually
. That the steps of deforestation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Trees
are the natural gifts that can purified the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
need to breathe every single seconds of their life spans. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
have impacts on human beings.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
forced the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
diseases like pneumonia and asthma. The skin cancer is coming from the fellowship of the UV rays from the sun through the burst ozone layers. Forests are the gift of nature which can attract the animals to survive under its shadow and maintain the balance of the life cycle. Due to deforestation, the life cycle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
disturbed and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the beauty of land
gradually
. We
still
have chances to slow down these disasters
especially
for our coming future.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
can be
absolutely
cured by planting the green
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. Nowadays, scientists are discovering to invent the electric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
which need no more fuels that can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
the harmful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
And
also
we can
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the bicycles as a simple way. Avoid using of plastic; we can
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the recycle papers
instead
of plastic bags that
are provided
in supermarkets. As the same ways, we can reuse the plastic more longer. The electronic devices that can
be replaced
in schools and offices
instead
of using the papers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
no more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
for papers.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Start
teaching about the environmental knowledge to schools and then the kids will know the methods to maintain.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
the kids are the future supporters for mother earth.
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IELTS essay Environmental Degradation

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
602 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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