Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Older people and their contribution to society

Older people and their contribution to society 56dLQ
Every year, scientists and doctors find a new way of improving health and with this creating a longer lifespan. My opinion in this subject has two points of view. If we talk about this as a matter of family, it is awesome. For our grandparents to stay with us for a longer time, I would support this, because they are the people that we love and care for. Now, if we talk about this as a contribution to society, I do not think that is a great idea. I have many reasons and arguments for this. For example: we are already overpopulated and if we expand life, resources are going to become more scarce. Another good point is, even sometimes old people want to die. I know this sounds awful but some of them say that they have lived their lives or that they are tired. Also, they can be the reason for many problems. For example: BREXIT, the only people who voted for this were older people and this made adults and young adults miss work and life opportunities. A second example, could be the elections in the United States. Older people do not care for the climate change or any other matter that Donald Trump represented, which lead them to vote for him. As a conclusion, I think that this subject can have to point of view and it will depend on how people see this.
Every year, scientists and doctors find a new way of improving health and with this creating a longer lifespan.

My opinion in this subject has two points of view. If we talk about this as a matter of family, it is awesome. For our grandparents to stay with us for a longer time, I would support this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and care for.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, if we talk about this as a contribution to society, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that is
a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. I have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons and arguments for this.
For example
: we are already overpopulated and if we expand life, resources are going to become more scarce. Another
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
point is, even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
. I know this sounds awful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them say that they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
or that they
are tired
.
Also
, they can be the reason for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems.
For example
: BREXIT, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who voted for this were older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and this made adults and young adults miss work and life opportunities. A second example, could be the elections in the United States. Older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not care for the climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
or any other matter that Donald Trump represented, which lead them to vote for him.

As a conclusion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this subject can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
point of view and it will depend on how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
this.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Older people and their contribution to society

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
238 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Older people and their contribution to society