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Old people are an essential part of society, so they should be respected

Old people are an essential part of society, so they should be respected BLny6
In every part of society, older people are taking their own important role which proof that they should be respected and admired. To begin with their importance, older people can support the community by giving guidance on making critical decisions. This would include cases like investing in real estates and preparing traditional occasions which they are highly experienced at. The knowledge they acquired are more than younger generations and are mature to lead a team either formally or informally. Hence, older people took a leader role in a family and even neighborhood to teach everything they know, solve problems and use their power and authority to control chaos effectively. Moreover, in order to have new generations with better intelligence, updated tools and correct use of resources, older people are essential to pass down their history, mistakes and lessons learned. In this way, newer generations can take correct actions by knowing what are right or wrong. Teachers who taught us physically, verbally or visually are all older people who can nurture us to be successful and highly contributed to our world. In a nutshell, older people are our role model who can help, lead and correct us in our daily activities as well as critical issues. By sharing their experiences and knowledge, younger generations will be both intellectually and emotionally mentored as better people of the world.
In every part of society,
older
people
are taking their
own
important
role which proof that they should
be respected
and admired.

To
begin
with their importance,
older
people
can support the community by giving guidance on making critical decisions. This would include cases like investing in real estates and preparing traditional occasions which they are
highly
experienced at. The knowledge they acquired are more than younger generations and are mature to lead a team either
formally
or
informally
.
Hence
,
older
people
took a leader role in a family and even neighborhood to teach everything they know, solve problems and
use
their power and authority to control chaos
effectively
.

Moreover
, in order to have new generations with better intelligence, updated tools and correct
use
of resources,
older
people
are essential to pass down their history, mistakes and lessons learned. In this way, newer generations can take correct actions by knowing what are right or
wrong
. Teachers who taught us
physically
,
verbally
or
visually
are all
older
people
who can nurture us to be successful and
highly
contributed to our world.

In a nutshell,
older
people
are our role model who can
help
, lead and correct us in our daily activities
as well
as critical issues. By sharing their experiences and knowledge, younger generations will be both
intellectually
and
emotionally
mentored as better
people
of the world.
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IELTS essay Old people are an essential part of society, so they should be respected

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
226 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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