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Old-fashioned values are still important

Old-fashioned values are still important Yd8En
Nowadays, with the rapid development of economy and technology, a growing number of citizens accomplish their greatest potential even win reputation home and abroad. Someone claimed that material possessions and social status rather than the traditional moralities such as accommodation or honesty are the vital symbols of personal value. From my perspectives, I strongly believe that this trend will probably make us fall victim to materialism and vanity. It cannot be denied that those advocates have their reasons to a certain extent. Higher status in society really means a great accomplishment one person has achieved in his career or employment. More often than not, financial success supports anybody to possess the luxury items and famous brands which other people dreamed of. Therefore, a host of businessmen fraud consumers in order to generate more revenues. Worse still, some adolescents with weak purchasing power risk it all just for a fancy dress or trendy car, ending up in debts. Even some impulsive youth commit crimes such as stealing, drug dealing to enrich their possessions. There is no doubt that financial power and social status are not omnipotent in representing the real worth of someone without the collaboration of classical values. Morality is the most precious property of us. Since the wealth would be lost immediately, while the conventional value is a kind of qualities that lies sleeping within us all. Furthermore, old-fashioned values are likely to increase our social estates as well as revenues. Take Steven Jobs as example, He made his great effort to donate billions and millions of money to the poverty area in the US. As a result, consumers become more crazy about Apple products due to the trust of this company. To conclude, the social status and financial capacity cannot in lieu of the significant role of traditional values in representing a person’s success.
Nowadays, with the rapid development of economy and technology, a growing number of citizens accomplish their greatest potential even win reputation home and abroad. Someone claimed that material possessions and
social
status
rather
than the traditional moralities such as accommodation or honesty are the vital symbols of personal
value
. From my perspectives, I
strongly
believe that this trend will
probably
make
us fall victim to materialism and vanity.

It cannot
be denied
that those advocates have their reasons to a certain extent. Higher
status
in society
really
means a great accomplishment one person has achieved in his career or employment. More
often
than not, financial success supports anybody to possess the luxury items and
famous
brands which other
people
dreamed of.
Therefore
, a host of businessmen fraud consumers in order to generate more revenues. Worse
still
,
some
adolescents with weak purchasing power
risk
it all
just
for a fancy dress or trendy car, ending up in debts. Even
some
impulsive youth commit crimes such as stealing, drug dealing to enrich their possessions.

There is no doubt that financial power and
social
status
are not omnipotent in representing the real worth of someone without the collaboration of classical values. Morality is the most precious property of us. Since the wealth would
be lost
immediately, while the conventional
value
is a kind of qualities that lies sleeping within us all.
Furthermore
,
old
-fashioned values are likely to increase our
social
estates
as well
as revenues. Take Steven Jobs as example, He made his great effort to donate billions and millions of money to the poverty area in the US.
As a result
, consumers become more crazy about Apple products due to the trust of this
company
.

To conclude
, the
social
status
and financial capacity cannot in lieu of the significant role of traditional values in representing a person’s success.
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IELTS essay Old-fashioned values are still important

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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