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Do you support or oppose globalization

Do you support or oppose globalization KyLG3
I fully support globalization. There are several reasons and examples, why I think so. Firstly, globalization positively influences the world’s economy. To be more specific, technology and science help companies to develop better business processes and become more competitive and productive. For example, in the era of globalization Mercedes Benz produced fifty per cent more cars only because globalization enabled it to establish close business contacts. Secondly, during globalization international capital flows into the countries. In other words, gross cross-border capital increases faster due to the fact that businessmen from different countries, in compliance with their interests, invest in private and public companies. They often focus on making privately-negotiated investments in technology, energy and commodities and of this lead to increase capital flows. For instance, trading of commodities, such as, coffee or avocados became popular only because of global consumption, which resulted in international capital flows into the country. Thirdly, foreign operations and branches are established in countries. More specifically stated, to go global, companies need counterparts all over the world to better run their businesses. Globalization is the best platform to do so. As a result, companies have better performance. For example, my father has a small business and thanks to globalization he expended worldwide, which brought him significant success. In conclusion, the reasons and examples given above, clearly illustrate why I fully support globalization.
I
fully
support globalization. There are several reasons and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
examples
, why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.

Firstly
, globalization
positively
influences the world’s economy. To be more specific, technology and science
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to develop better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
processes and become more competitive and productive. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, in the era of globalization
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Mercedes Benz
produced fifty per cent more cars
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
globalization enabled it to establish close
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
contacts.

Secondly
, during globalization international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
flows into the countries.
In other words
, gross cross-border
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
increases faster due to the fact that businessmen from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries, in compliance with their interests, invest in private and public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
focus on making
privately
-negotiated investments in technology, energy and commodities and of this lead to increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
flows.
For instance
, trading of commodities, such as, coffee or avocados became popular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of global consumption, which resulted in international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
flows into the country.

Thirdly
, foreign operations and branches
are established
in countries. More
specifically
stated, to go global,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
need counterparts all over the world to better run their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
. Globalization is the best platform to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
have better performance. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, my father has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and thanks to globalization he expended worldwide, which brought him significant success.

In conclusion
, the reasons and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
examples
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
above,
clearly
illustrate why I
fully
support globalization.
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IELTS essay Do you support or oppose globalization

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
226 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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