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Childcare is important.Every parent should do childcare programs.To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Childcare is important. Every parent should do childcare programs. RV1NV
These days, more and more human beings believe that every couples who have children should do childcare programs. I totally agree with this idea. Generally speaking, there are a wide variety of reasons why people believe that parents should attend programs in which they can learn how to take protection of their youngster efficiently. The preliminary argument supporting this idea is that couples can help their youngster to bring out the talent which is hidden inside them such as intelligence, creativity, and analytical power. A good illustration of this is that recently “Mumbai Times” newspaper has revealed that ample amount of children’s in India are now performing exceptionally well in various activity compare to yesteryear due to extensive support from their parents. Another key thing they can learn from childcare course is that they should support their sons and daughters whatever they want to be in future rather than stimulating them to choose professions like Doctors, Engineers in their future working lives. As a result, youngsters will not only remain stress free but also they can boost their concentration on future goals. Furthermore, guardians also get to know how to send message to the government to cease those ads in child’s TV shows that are deleterious for their offspring such as high calorie meals and beverages, exorbitant tech gadgets etc. By doing so, young human beings will not be able to watch those ads and they will not pester their parents to buy the products. Besides, offspring care scheme also teaches guardians how to keep their sons and daughters away from bad peers who do illegal things such as smoking cigarettes. For example, in a recent it has been proved that a plethora of early age people in the USA are becoming chain smokers. In conclusion, this is a topic which is very relevant to modern society. If government implements a policy that every couples who have offspring ought to attend childcare scheme, it will provide those early age people a better life for future.
These days, more and more human beings believe that every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "couple"?
couples
who have children should do childcare programs. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

Generally
speaking, there are a wide variety of reasons why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that parents should attend programs in which they can learn how to take protection of their youngster
efficiently
. The preliminary argument supporting this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is that couples can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their youngster to bring out the talent which
is hidden
inside them such as intelligence, creativity, and analytical power. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration of this is that recently “Mumbai Times” newspaper has revealed that ample amount of children’s in India are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
performing
exceptionally
well in various activity compare to yesteryear due to extensive support from their parents. Another key thing they can learn from childcare course is that they should support their sons and daughters whatever they want to be in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
rather
than stimulating them to choose professions like Doctors, Engineers in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
As a result
, youngsters will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
remain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
free
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they can boost their concentration on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
goals.

Furthermore
, guardians
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
message to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to cease those ads in child’s TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that are deleterious for their offspring such as high calorie meals and beverages, exorbitant tech gadgets etc. By doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, young human beings will not be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
those
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
ads and
they will not pester their parents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the products.
Besides
, offspring care scheme
also
teaches guardians how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their sons and daughters away from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
peers who do illegal things such as smoking cigarettes.
For example
, in a recent it has
been proved
that a plethora of early age
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the USA are becoming chain smokers.

In conclusion
, this is a topic which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
relevant to modern society. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
implements a policy that every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "couple"?
couples
who have offspring ought to attend childcare scheme, it will provide those early age
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
a better life for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
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IELTS essay Childcare is important. Every parent should do childcare programs.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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