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oday many countries import food from different parts of the world. Is this a positive or negative development?

oday many countries import food from different parts of the world. Is this a positive or negative development? GKVw
In recent times, food from various cities around the world is imported. From my perspective, despite obvious positive aspects, this matter could exert far-reaching impacts. Initially, food plays a vital role in human’s health, especially for children and the elder. It is important to note that in this day and age people eat a lot of different types of food that we don’t know exactly where it comes from. The consequences of this on society are potentially grave, people can have higher risk of serious illnesses, for instance, the elder might have high blood pressure, meanwhile, a lot of people leading a sedentary lifestyle, for people at young age, they could have obesity. Furthermore, the government nowadays doesn't care much about this rising problem, they don’t check carefully all the goods and food that is imported from other countries. This could lead to the fact that original food can be mixed with different unhealthy ingredients. As a result, governments can’t ensure the well-being of people, and this is also causing a heavy load on a country’s healthcare industry. Another striking point is that customers sometimes make impulsive purchases, therefore, food which is unhealthy for health can be eaten easily. In conclusion, although the development of this aspect brings us several favorable effects, food which comes from unknown sources can be detrimental to health. Each of us should choose selective food, take regular exercise in order to achieve and maintain good health.
In recent times,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
from various cities around the world
is imported
. From my perspective, despite obvious
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects, this matter could exert far-reaching impacts.

Initially
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
plays a vital role in human’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
,
especially
for children and the elder. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to note that in this day and age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
eat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
that we don’t know exactly where it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from. The consequences of this on society are
potentially
grave,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can have higher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of serious illnesses,
for instance
, the elder might have high blood pressure, meanwhile,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
leading a sedentary lifestyle, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
at young age, they could have obesity.

Furthermore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
nowadays doesn't care much about this rising problem, they don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
carefully
all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
that
is imported
from other countries. This could lead to the fact that original
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
can
be mixed
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
unhealthy ingredients.
As a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
can’t ensure the well-being of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and this is
also
causing a heavy load on a country’s healthcare industry. Another striking point is that customers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
impulsive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
,
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
which is unhealthy for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
can
be eaten
easily
.

In conclusion
, although the development of this aspect brings us several favorable effects,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from unknown sources can be detrimental to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. Each of us should choose selective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, take regular exercise in order to achieve and maintain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
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IELTS essay oday many countries import food from different parts of the world. Is this a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
241 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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