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obesity is increasing in children. give reasons ,effects andsolutions

obesity is increasing in children. give reasons, effects andsolutions okB1K
In this modern day and age, childhood obesity is a burning issue all around the world. There are several reasons for this problem and many consequences related. Thus, some useful measures could be implemented to tackle this issue. As to the obesity of children, there are some causes and effects for this disease. The first factor is the bad eating habits of children. In other words, nowadays, with the development of fast food and junk food, the young tend to eat KFC, CocaCola, and snacks a lot. This leads to the higher risk of heart disease, obese and cancer in children. Another reason is the lazy in doing excercise in the younger. In fact, children have a sedentary lifestyle with their smartphones, laptop and less playing sports or enjoying outdoor activities. This makes them overweight and vulnerable to get sick. There are a lot of measures that could be taken by parents and school to help children resolve this trouble. Firstly, a simple solution would be to teach the child about the harmful effects of unhealthy food. By doing this, children will know about the danger of this unhealthy diet. Another way to help reduce this disease is and limit the amount of these foods that children could eat per week or per month. This measure will help the young eat less junk food, fast food and get used to living a healthy lifestyle. In conclusion, obesity leads to various serious effects but it also has many solutions to address this problem
In this modern day and age, childhood obesity is a burning issue all around the world. There are several reasons for this problem and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
consequences related.
Thus
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
useful measures could
be implemented
to tackle this issue.

As to the obesity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
causes and effects for this disease. The
first
factor is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
eating habits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
In other words
, nowadays, with the development of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, the young tend to eat KFC,
Possible spelling mistake found.
CocaCola
, and snacks a lot. This leads to the higher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of heart disease, obese and cancer in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Another reason is the lazy in doing
Possible spelling mistake found.
excercise
in the younger. In fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have a sedentary lifestyle with their smartphones, laptop and less playing sports or enjoying outdoor activities. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them overweight and vulnerable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sick.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
measures that could
be taken
by parents and school to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
resolve this trouble.
Firstly
, a simple solution would be to teach the child about the harmful effects of unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. By doing this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will know about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of this unhealthy diet. Another way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
this disease is and limit the amount of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
could eat per week or per month. This measure will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the young eat less junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to living a healthy lifestyle.

In conclusion
, obesity leads to various serious effects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
solutions to address this problem
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IELTS essay obesity is increasing in children. give reasons, effects andsolutions

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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